one day it'll all make sense.

lost, but finding

“Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.”  Alysha Speer

Today I got “lost”.  I don’t even know how to rationalize with myself how or why it happened :p  My alarm went off at 6:00 (yes, I actually sleep until my alarm now!  odd in itself…) I got up, went through my usual morning routine, then standing in my kitchen clutching my morning cup of hot, black, heaven, I just sorta got stuck.  😮  Get your mind outta the gutter.  I’m talking about coffee, jeez…  I fooled around aimlessly on my iPad for a bit, cooked an egg white omelet to take to work, and decided my stove top, counter top and inside of the microwave could use a wipe down…  Not that my morning was a complete waste, but I avoided what I knew I should be doing.  The gym.  The concept of me not going to the gym is crazy.  I kept telling myself… get it together and at least go for a run.  Nope.  Didn’t happen.  My kitchen is clean though.  The only reasoning I can come up with is I’m getting bored, but I don’t want to let myself accept that!  😮  Today is day 36 of my 100 day transformation challenge.  Just over 1/3 of the way through, so I can’t let myself get bored already!  Sigh…  Now, since I didn’t suck it up and hit the gym before work, I’ll have to REALLY suck it up and go after my 10 hour shift.  And I’m short-staffed.  haha!  I guess that will be my chance for a little personal victory…  my chance to push past all the crap in my head that gets in the way…

release

Since moving closer to work, I’ve added 2-3 extra hours to my day.  Hours that I’m still trying to figure out what to do with!  When I was commuting to and from work every day, in the car was where I did all my thinking and day dreaming.  Now, I’m learning to find other ways to sort through the my thoughts.  It’s messy :p  My second home is the gym.  It’s the place where I do the most of my thinking and the treadmill seems to be my favourite place to deal with any emotional garbage.  Lifting heavy sh-tuff helps with anger or frustration.  :p  Both of those are usually with myself though…yo-berries

Speaking of online wanderings… I’m completely hooked on Pinterest

I have found sooo many awesome new Paleo recipes to try 🙂  I haven’t posted a whole lot of food pics lately cause I’ve found I’m not all that creative right now!  I cook what I like, and generally it seems to be the same stuff over and over…  Amazing how it’s really not as much fun cooking for one!  Found this little treat the other day and all you need is some fresh berries and greek yogurt.  Dip the berries in the yogurt, drop on a parchment lined cookie sheet, and into the freezer.  Simple, and tasty! 

I do have a little list of fun things I want to try though, so stay tuned for more pics and reviews coming soon… 😉

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