one day it'll all make sense.

Archive for March, 2013

Strong kicks skinny

Ok, if you’ve read my blog at all before this point, you already know that “legs” is my favourite workout by far.¬† I look forward to “legs” day every week… but the day after is often one I dread ūüė¶¬† Ever have one of those days where you contemplate throwing in the towel completely?¬† The reason I hate the day after¬†legs day, which sometimes turns into a multi-day hatred, is NOT because I’m sore or stiff (LOVE that part!).¬† Not because walking up the stairs at work is sometimes a real challenge (LOVE that part too!).¬† It’s because I HATE when I put on a pair of jeans and feel like my quads are sn’aussaged¬†in!¬† Sn’aussage¬†should be a word…¬†it fits when the pants don’t.¬† I should be happy, I know.¬† I’m getting wicked strong quads and hammys, but… ya.¬†

Let me ramble about the pressures society places on females for a moment.¬† I may be gay, but I’m still a girl.¬† Part of the reason for this rant comes from a comment made yesterday at my gym from an older gentleman who suggested that I shouldn’t be lifting the weight that I am.¬† “Girls meant to lift like that…”¬† Was mumbled as he walked away.¬† REALLY?!?!¬† I would love to take this as a sign that he was impressed with my strength, but that’s not the way it came out.¬† Take a look in a magazine for a second, and I’m not talking Oxygen or anything body-building related.¬†¬†They get it.¬† Every where you look the media portrays the female “ideal” as a skinny, scrawny stick figure who barely has the strength to lift her mucho-grande-non-fat-no-taste latte to her lips.¬† A while ago, I saw a bunch of ads out there promoting a shift in this mentality that were inspiring in my mind.


strong-is-the-new-skinnyI totally agree!¬† Girls who buy into this mentality can be a force to be reckoned¬†with!¬† Strong bodies and healthy lifestyles should never be anything to be ashamed of.¬† hypocrite?¬† Yes, maybe…¬† I never¬†find myself ashamed or embarrassed¬†that I can crush¬†4 sets of squats with 135lbs rested on my shoulders.¬† That’s right!¬† ūüôā¬† Personal best yesterday!¬† AND¬†I do get over the tight jeans eventually.¬† I also¬†don’t complain about it in public :p¬† That’s what blogging is for…

rock on 365

Today is a day to celebrate ūüôā Today is my one year anniversary since i made the decision to give this whole Paleo thing a “30 day trial”. ¬†Now one year later I’m still living it up! ¬†I’ve learned to really enjoy the food I put in my body and make the right choices to fuel me through my crazy life. ¬†While it hasn’t been a miracle cure, I¬†have noticed a difference in the consistency of energy levels throughout my day. ¬†As someone living with MS, this has been a huge victory in my mind! ¬†iPhone I first started this journey, I used to celebrate every month as an anniversary of success. ¬†While I’m a little beyond¬†that now, the one year mark is still a big accomplishment for me ūüôā if I put my mind to something, I CAN succeed. Disease or no disease, I am a fighter.

Friday was one of those long slow days at work where all I could think about was how much I’d rather have spent the whole day sweatin’ it hard-core at the gym.¬† Got out early ¬†and ROCKED a stellar 30 minute run and 60 minutes of heavy lifting.¬† ūüėÄ ¬†It was “leg day” which tends to have me jumping out the door eager to go lift the big sh*t.¬† My fav. part I think is still when the dude gets on the machine after me and has to do a double take to look at who was lifting that.¬† Hahaha…¬† I may not look like much, but one woman¬† a few weeks ago said to her friend “she’s a TANK” and I just giggled.¬† That’s right.¬† I can pound out 4 sets of v-squats with 215lbs stacked on the machine.

Saturday was inventory night at my part-time job. ¬† It was a sh*t storm, but at least it’s over!

fork in the road…

March 19 – early morning:

Confusion has set in for me a bit right now.¬† Today is day 67 of the 100 day transformation.¬† It’s also a month until the start of summer ball hockey.¬† Summer ball hockey is a LOT different from winter ball hockey cause we shift to playing on a full-size arena.¬† To stick to the plan my trainer gave me for the 100 day thing would mean to keep away from the treadmill as much as possible.¬† Something I already have cheated on several times… BUT to start a hockey season without the endurance I am used to having, I might die.¬† Or barf.¬† I’m not into that…¬† I mentioned before that I was considering venting a little of my frustration and disappointment with this 100 day thing anyway.¬† FIrst off, I guess I should be mad at myself for not taking the time to think things through and do a little research before handing over the $$.¬† The gym is about 40 minutes away.¬† It’s winter and I live in Canada, which means the driving conditions can be sketch.¬† And I already have¬†a gym membership at a club that is on my way to work.¬† My thought process was: I can take the workout routine I get and just use it at my home club.¬† Yes, this is true, but the amount¬†of $$$ isn’t really justified when all that I got out of it was 6 personal training sessions and a workout plan.¬† I wasn’t really bothered by that considering it was MY choice to not go workout at their gym, but when I was wandering around aimlessly on facebook¬†the other day, I realized there WAS a lot more being offered which I was completely missing out on.¬† There are group bootcamp¬†sessions 4 times per week.¬† There is a little “community” of people working together to achieve their goals.¬† There have been check-in sessions and weigh-in sessions that I was completely unaware of.¬† Thanks facebook :p¬†leaning this stuff made me feel jaded…

So now I have a decision¬†to make.¬† Do I continue to push forward on my own to try to achieve the muscle-building goals I set for myself?¬† I will admit, I DO notice a big difference in my strength, but at the cost of a lot of other things.¬† I used to be able to pound out chin-ups like they were childs play.¬† I used to be proud of my stamina and endurance at hockey.¬† The personal little challenges I set for myself up until this point were never ones that took away from the fitness side of life that I already had…¬† OR, the other side of the coin.¬† Do I jump back into running a few times per week and cut back a bit on the weight lifting? ¬†Sigh…


March 19: evening:

So, the dust settled after my morning rant and I dragged myself to the gym after work.¬† Still not sure which way I’m going, but I hopped on the treadmill for a 5km run.¬† For the first time in a looooong time, I had to fight to keep running!¬† Pretty much every step of the way…¬† I hated that :p¬† Running has always been the easy part.¬† After my battle on the treadmill, I crushed out a modified chest routine.¬†¬†Despite the heavy weights, this felt like a walk in the park compared to the treadmill!¬† Yet another reason I tend to do cardio at the beginning¬†of a workout :p¬† For now anyways, I think that’s my plan.¬† Keep the weight lighting a constant, but build my cardio back up at the same time.¬† I know the extra calorie burn will take away from my muscle-building goals (unless I’m eating like crazy!) but I think I would rather not die at hockey than get all Arnold at the moment…

blood, sweat and tears have got me here...  dedication will let me stay...

blood, sweat and tears got me here… dedication will let me stay…

No patience…

Just waiting (not so patiently) for my bananas to thaw so I can make some pre workout pancakes… ¬†If I keep poking them will it happen faster? ¬†Please? ¬†Haha…

Not really sure why, but lately I’m not sleeping as much as I used to. ¬†It’s a whole new experience for me… I used to be ready for bed every night at like 10-10:30! ¬†Now, I’m still messing around on my iPad or whatever and realize it’s almost midnight! ¬†Still wide awake friggin early in the morning too. ¬†Sometimes too early. This morning was around 5:15 and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Ah well… Not like¬†I don’t keep myself busy during the day…


So, still waiting for the damn bananas. ¬†This mean, no fitness ramblings quite yet. ¬†Although I may share a bit of my frustration with my training program later… ¬†For now, let’s talk FOOD! ¬†ūüôā ¬†My grocery store had ground chicken and turkey ridiculously on sale last week and I went a little crazy! ¬†Thank god I have a good-sized freezer, cause I may have picked up 14 packs… ¬†:s ¬†I couldn’t resist. ¬†Don’t judge.

Last night I tried another new creation involving shredded rutabaga, which I thought sounded exotic and fancy until I realized it was just another name for turnip. Hmmm.  Anyways, shredded rutabaga, minced garlic, turkey breakfast sausage, and an egg.  All messed up together and tasted pretty good.

Then I also made some balsamic broccoli and chicken, cause chicken breasts were on sale too, which I haven’t tried yet but they smell amazing… ¬†Meat on sale makes me happy. ¬†But I can’t wait for summer when we get to the point where veggies don’t break the bank so badly. ¬†The chicken bake¬†almost didn’t happen when I saw broccoli was $2.99. ¬†I shopped around ūüėČ

Balsamic broccoli chicken

Facing fears

Since beginning my 100 day challenge, it’s been no secret which workouts I like/dislike.¬† After injuring myself when I got home from vacay, I’ve had even more reason to avoid some of the workouts I already wasn’t a fan of.¬† Today was a day of “‘eff it!”¬† I sucked it up and jumped into a kick-ass back routine.¬† Probably my least fav., but today I was just in the right frame of mind for ANYTHING.¬† :p¬† Decided to throw some chest dips into the mix too, just cause the love/hate relationship I have with those is pretty intoxicating at times…¬† My chest is going to be deliciously sore tomorrow!¬† lol

Why am I so gullible?¬† I think it’s hereditary.¬† My mom is even worse!¬† Anyway, a coworker sent me something that talks about raw food and ya-da… part of it mentions that you should drink 2 litres of water in the first 30min¬†of getting out of bed in the morning.¬† WHAT?!?!¬† I know, right?¬† But I’m a sucker, so today I tried it just for fun.¬† Only got to 1.5 litres, but actually didn’t feel like as much of a blow fish as I had expected…¬† When someone tells me it can’t be done, I’ll probably try to prove them wrong.¬† When I tell myself it can’t be done, I will DEFINITELY try to prove me wrong!¬† Freak.

Yesterday was potluck day at my store ūüôā¬† I was lazy…¬†¬†

sweet potato brownies

sweet potato brownies

Food, gym, food…

People just don’t get it sometimes…¬† Just because I am no longer “in a relationship” doesn’t mean I’m suddenly fair game…¬† While I’ve stopped looking for the ring that used to sit on my ring finger, my heart hasn’t forgotten just yet.¬† I’m not looking to find anyone other than myself right now.¬† Could sometimes just use a friend…

I got out of bed first thing this morning and headed straight to my kitchen to make miracles.¬† Ok, I consider them miracles in the form of a new version of meatloaf muffins.¬† After last night, when I got home and realized I had nothing stashed in my fridge and ended up eating a bowl of steamed Brussels sprouts and broccoli for dinner.¬† Anyway, the meatloaf¬†is so ridiculously tasty and easy… just 2lbs¬†ground turkey, a cup of salsa, 5 cloves garlic, grated fresh ginger, finely grated carrot, an egg and black pepper.¬† Mmmm…¬† I learned a pretty important life lesson during my early morning cook-fest.¬† Taking the turkey out of the deep freezer and into the fridge the night before is NOT adequate.¬† I’m pretty sure I gave my hands 3rd degree frostbite when trying to make the bastards.¬† Does that even exist?¬† Hmmm…

I did have a good workout this morning.¬† ūüôā¬† First time I’ve pushed myself after breaking myself last week.¬† It felt great to be back at it.¬† Unfortunately I ended my workout a bit sooner than I was planning though cause these 3 people really seemed to be stalking me around the gym and smelled really bad.¬† :s¬† When the one guy approached me as I was finishing my 3rd set on the leg press machine to ask how many reps I had left I was annoyed enough that I did my fourth set and called it a day.¬† Rude.

Oh my… I just realized I still have some Brussels in my fridge!¬† Happy day!¬†


Happy Friday!

oh wow.¬† I’m a giant heap of random today…

A friend made a comment the other day that really made me think.¬† “You are a shy and private person, I can respect that.” she said. ¬†My first reaction was, WOW!¬† You are so wrong!¬† but after some thought, I realized the truth behind this.¬† It’s really amazing how the events and situations that present themselves in your life can shape and mold the person you are. ¬†Love has made me guarded… I guess that comes across as shy sometimes? ¬†I have trust issues too :-s. I have opened up my heart to a few who have broken it badly. ¬†They say it always heals, but I feel scars remain forever. ¬†My job has made me private. ¬†It’s 2013 and light years ahead of how things were even 50 years ago, but I still work in a “boys club”. ¬†A smaller, yet growing, family business where all of the important people in senior management are male. ¬†I’ve been with my company for almost 8 years, and put in the grunt work to move up from seasonal sales associate, to manager of my own store. ¬†It hasn’t been an easy road, and I’ve learned a lot along the way. ¬†Part of which has been the benefit of keeping your life separate from your job. ¬†People at work don’t need to know more about me than what they see everyday… Unfortunately I apparently take that mentality home too! ¬†Not to worry… I’m finding myself again….

I smile to myself every time I do it.¬† I know how ridiculous I look, and that it really isn’t making any difference anyway.¬† BUTT…¬† when I’m sending a message on my iPhone and the little “in progress” bar gets stuck for a second, I totally tip my phone and give it a little shake to try to help it along.¬† ūüėĬ† laugh… it’s ok.

I finally made it to the chiropractor and had my rib cage put back together.¬† All is good in the hood again and I’m back in the game. ¬†Only thing i was¬†able to do for the last few days was run or spin… ¬†Sooooo thankful for my home spin bike! ¬†I find it very hard to get myself to the gym when I know the weight room will only be calling my name the whole time. ¬†:-p. <– why doesnt wordpress give me more smilies? ¬†Ya, they can be kinda lame, but needed sometimes… ¬†Anyways, chiro says weight lifting is allowed, but no more throwing myself into the boards at hockey.¬† Damn.¬† Sometimes I’m just concentrating too hard on the little orange ball, when suddenly realize I’ve run out of floor…

last note… Monday night I went to see P!nk ūüėÄ ¬†amaaaaaazing show!!!

P!nk rockin' Toronto

P!nk rockin’ Toronto

bump in the road

Today… I’m a big 30-year-old baby.¬† There.¬† You were warned.¬† Usually I try to take the “it could be worse” approach to life, but I’m struggling with this one…

It’s day 58.¬† Six weeks remain in the 100 day transformation challenge.¬† Six weeks is¬†plenty of time to drive it home, but two days ago I did something to my back ūüė¶¬† Don’t know what, but it’s getting in my way.¬† After a week away from home and away from my vigorous weight lifting routine, this is NOT what I need to get back on track.¬† The hardest part of it all is weight lifting and running are usually how I DEAL with emotions of sadness, frustration and anger.¬†

breakfast lasagna

I’m years beyond the days where I turned to food for comfort, but it still haunts me at times.¬† :s¬† The last two nights when I haven’t been able to go to the gym, I’ve used my free time to cook shit.¬† Seems kinda backwards, but it keeps me busy and from sitting on the couch with a whole bowl of cranberries and walnuts!¬† Two nights ago I tried a Mushroom Masala recipe.¬† Sounded wonderful, but FAIL.¬† Not at all impressed and a crap load of work.¬† BUT – last night I turned back to my favourite source of recipe inspiration at paleOMG¬†and Juli didn’t let me down.¬† The Breakfast Lasagna¬†is UNREAL!¬† So delicious!¬† And yes.¬† I did end up having some breakfast for dinner.¬† Couldn’t help it…¬† Also, yes, this has to be the most disappointing¬†picture I’ve ever taken, let alone shared, but I was hungry by the time I took it and the food smelled sooo good!¬† Besides, when does the first piece of anything (pie, cake, LASAGNA) not come out like a mangled hot mess?¬† Seriously?

Just holding onto the hope that my back will feel better soon…¬† It’s really weird.¬† I can do a pull-up or push-up painlessly, but lifting up the bottle of¬†dish soap¬†on the counter almost had me drop to my knees.¬† WTF?¬† To the chiropractor on Tues…

in stride


My last post I cried about my flying through the air and using the ground as a cheese grater on my knees.¬† What I forgot to mention, I think, was that after the open road running catastrophe… I turned to the softer sandy beach for my running fix ūüôā¬† ***Take note!!¬† I actually have a HEAD in this photo!¬† Although I clearly didn’t take this one myself, I also didn’t crop it off :p

You can barely even notice my chewed up knee in this photo… but I’ll confirm YES, it DOES still hurt!¬† haha!¬† Got back to Canadian soil on Tuesday night and played ball hockey on Wednesday night, where of course I took a stick across the bruise just to make sure.¬† If you’ve never played ball hockey, although I’m sure any sport would do, it works wonders for releasing energy, stress and aggression.¬† The month of December working in retail would be a hot mess if I didn’t have hockey as an outlet…¬†

Holy cow, the list of recipes I’m day dreaming about after getting back is pretty extensive…¬† when I get a chance to put some of the day dreams into action, I’ll share the successful ones!

Lastly… with my excitement to jump back into the weights yesterday may have been a bit over-ambitious :s¬† My back is soooo sore today, and considering yesterday I worked legs, not back??¬† Oops!¬† Legs were feeling it a bit too when I went to hike the stairs at work this morning.¬† Amazing how quickly the conditioning can slip away…

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