Ah… the Open. It can lift us up with finding new PRs, crushing a particular WOD, and the awesome in-house camaraderie. The last 4 weeks in CF Division have been filled with an intoxicating energy that has knit our community even tighter. We can learn of capabilities we didn’t know we had and push past barriers that believed existed previously. Yet sometimes what can raise you up can also throw you back down. Hard. Such is the burpee of life I guess. :p
I’m glad I signed up for this. It’s proven to be an even greater opportunity to learn more about my strengths and weakness than I ever could have imagined. I’m of course talking of both the mental and physical here. I’ve enjoyed some personal victories in getting a few double unders, my first chest to bar pull-up (followed by 7 more), and 31 toes to bar. But there’s also been some dark moments. One week to go, and while there has been a lot of fun times, I won’t deny the fact that I’m ready for it to be done. I’ve set some good benchmarks for myself to work to improve and to compare against again in time. However, I’m ready to crossfit just for the love of crossfit again.
14.4 left me feeling defeated and disappointed in myself. In 14.1, I went in fully aware that the double unders would have my number. I fought hard, but the defeat was something I had somewhat mentally prepared myself for. 14.4 was a different story. My goal in my mind had been to get to the cleans. The row went as planned, although it’s pretty tough to screw that up, but the toes to bar presented a far greater issue than I had given them credit for. I thought we were “tight and sh*t”. Wrong. I only needed 50, but in 10 minutes all I could make count was 31. And what felt like 100 “no reps”. Interesting moment for me, although this won’t make any sense to most, my awesome judge told me at one moment when my mind had all but given up “get MAD at the bar McDowell! MAKE IT COUNT!!!” With that comment, I no longer felt all alone on that stupid bar. I may have only gotten a few more legit reps before the time expired, but I gave it everything to do just that. To MAKE IT COUNT. Saturday I had a conversation with Coach Sharon that once again drove home just how amazing our coaches are. I shared my disappointment and her words of wisdom once again helped me snap out of it. “You have to have a thick skin to crossfit. There will always be something you need to work on and it’s usually a long list… You are too hard on yourself. You have nothing to prove.” She speaks the truth when I get so caught up in my head that I can’t see it for myself. Much appreciated.
For the first time in maybe, well ever… I chalked. I will most likely go back to avoiding the shtuff in the future. There have been maybe three times I’ve shredding my hands to the point of bloodshed. All of which have been times I’ve caved to the draw of the bucket of the messy white dust.
Thankfully a friend pulled out her handy-dandy krazy glue (a crossfit essential I’ve learned) and stuck me back together after blood was washed away with a contained a yelp from the peroxide pour. Like I said, I never chalk, but Friday I was at the point of trying anything to get in my 50 reps. So chalk I did.
Side note – I’m still hooked on turkey meatballs. Anytime you put fennel seeds with ground meat I’ve discovered you can’t really go wrong. This kinda looks like garbage, but it was sooo good 😀 Meatballs, mushrooms, kale, and a handful of this kale salad mix. I’m a no-dressing kid. Weird, I know. But there was a little tomato sauce on my meatballs so that makes me a little less of an oddball I think. Not sure why the pic was taken on my couch… Although I don’t really concern myself with logic when all I want to do is EAT what I’m photographing.