one day it'll all make sense.

on the fence

Wed. May 13:

Yuko is 4 months old today 😀  My once-little-puppy is growing into a very handsome young man.  And such a good boy!  I called him in the middle of the dog park a few days ago and he came right away.  A few jaws dropped haha!  “OMG he came to you surrounded by other dogs?!” one guy commented.  “My dog is 10 and doesn’t listen that well!”  🙂  That felt good.  I’m doing something right!  (and it helps that he’s just awesome too)

4 months today!

4 months today!

Ok, I’m going to share a message I posted on facebook a few days ago in the Women of CFD group:

I need to rant for a minute. Summer is coming, got a taste of the warmer weather last week. Summer means no more jackets, no more hoodies and big comfy clothes. Exciting, right? How about when it means trying on all of last years clothes and realizing your butt and thighs just don’t fit into anything anymore. I’ve heard from many people “Kate! Shut up you’re not fat. Like at all.” but we each have our own perceptions of ourselves and perception is reality. This is mine. I just finished a round of Whole30 in April. I stuck through it no matter how tough it got at times… I mean come on! Who starts a chocolate abstinence routine a few days before Easter?? But although I was successful with my level of commitment for the whole thing, I was pretty disappointed at the end. Here’s the dumb part – I DID manage to kick my chocolate addiction. Win. and I PR’d my deadlift. Also Win. That should be more important than the number on the scale, right? Wrong. Again, my reality. What I just can’t seem to come to terms with is the fact that I eat super clean on a regular basis, get lots of sleep, drink lots of water and work out 5-6 times a week yet still my clothes don’t fit. Pre-crossfit I ate similar but with more frequent cheats, worked out not nearly as often, yet I was pretty little. I hate to even admit this, but I’ve had moments of thinking maybe I should give up crossfit for a while and see what happens… but that thought doesn’t stick around for long. Crossfit is so much more than just lifting, kipping, jumping, pushing, pulling, squatting and burpees. Thank god for that, cause if it was JUST about burpees… Especially CFD. I can’t even imagine my life without our community. You can always get new clothes, but never in my life have I felt a part of group of people that even compares to what we have here. For the first time in my life I feel like I actually understand the meaning of family smile emoticon While I won’t say I’ll get over my issues with feeling like the fat kid, I’m 100% over considering giving up something I love so much just to maybe fit into my skinny jeans again…
Ok, I’m done for now. Thanks!

These demons will follow me forever…  Here’s the thing – I’m tired of being hungry and I’m tired of feeling snausaged into my clothes.  Fixing one, will only make the other worse… so I need to figure out if I can live with the balance of both, or one extreme.  One good thing… it’s not sweltering hot in Ontario today, so at least I don’t feel like a sweaty snausage.  Got to the hill this morning for the 6:00am hump day hill WOD to a windy 6 degrees!  Quite a contrast from 30 on Saturday.  The WOD was a partner thing – 5 trips up the hill each, using a different form of travel each time.  The options were: lunges, running, run 20 steps/10 squats, sandbag carry, or run 20 steps/5 broad jumps (which turned into little bunny hops as the incline increased).  Most of it sucked.  But in the best possible way.  My legs hate me right now, but I love that we’ve started the Wednesday thing cause it kinda still counts as a rest day, right?  I mean, I don’t go to the box… And I need the cardio.  Without the hill it would have been really tough to avoid going later.  Today’s WOD sounds gooooooood!

Tues. May 12:

4 Rounds For Time:
15- Toes To Bar
20- Burpees
25- Kettlebell Swings (53/35)

Time – 16:36

Ok, the last 2 rounds had more knees to elbows than toes to bar, but the first 2 were Rx.  This was gross.  Broke up the toes to bar each round, kept a slowish but consistent pace through the burpees, and recovered during the KBS unbroken.  I find slow and controlled burpees always leave my chest burning the next day.  Again I’ll lay my claim that a burpee should really be called a kipping push-up…

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