one day it'll all make sense.

Archive for December, 2015

just walk away

For like ever, I’ve thought the Jillian Michael’s style of in your face coaching was something I could totally handle.  I mean, maybe I could if it was actually coming from her cause she’s pretty hot, but in the real world it’s just not something my mind is willing to take.  This morning’s WOD involved building up to a heavy squat clean and jerk.  I lifted #105 piece of cake.  Added a measly 5lbs to the bar and failed the lift.  I mean, my 3 rep max hang clean is #115 for gods sake.  Left to my own devices, I would have taken a second and nailed it.  But when 3 coaches, all of whom have all the right intentions jump in with tips, pointers, encouragement, etc, my brain says “nope!  I’m DONE!”  Sometimes hearing “You can DO this!!” is not what you need to hear.  Sometimes you need to hear nothing.  Sometimes you just need to walk away from the bar.

Follow thru

So, I’m making myself commit and actually publish a post.  I have 3-4 drafts just sitting in limbo cause they feel too unfinished to share.  I don’t know if it’s actually a case of the post being incomplete, or a feeling that the thoughts aren’t settled or resolved in my mind.  Probably the later.

ifonlythisweretrue

I wish this ^^^ held some truth for me.  I guess it probably could if I could stick to the nutrition part all the time… When I’m dealing with sadness, I find running helps.  So in January I’ll be running a LOT.  Might kill 2 birds with 1 stone. It hit me yesterday that Yuko and I have about 6 weeks left together.  I won’t be sad now 🙂 I’ll live in the moment and just love him ❤

I’ve mentioned before, I need rules.  Signed up for the next round of Whole Life Challenge yesterday which starts in January.  My good intentions to keep the ball rolling after the last one fell apart a bit.  The whole “2 indulgences per week” piece has gone to hell in a hand basket.  Not entirely my fault when there’s Christmas cookies and stuff.  Plus I work so much this time of year that it’s hard to take the time to really food prep and eat good meals.  Coach Dave asked this morning what people had for dinner last night.  He called me out and I dodged that bullet sloppily.  Truth of the matter – I made a batch of my banana balls which I had planned to bring as a snack today and maybe tomorrow.  Then I started decorating my Christmas tree.  The banana things are gone and I only put like 8 ornaments on my tree before sending a message to my mom asking if I could hire her to decorate it for me.  Felt guilty about the banana balls, so decided they were dinner.  Hence I didn’t answer Dave’s question cause what was I to say?  I had a banana, a whole cup of oats, a tbsp. of peanut butter and a scoop of protein powder?  So tasty, but on the don’t-ever-make-again list.  Not a veggie in sight there.  😦  Sigh…

Lol

Lol

I’m so tired…. Last Thursday I had to come in to Henry’s in the morning for a meaningless conference call , then to Sport Chek for 5 hours of shoe box wrestling, then back to Henry’s to set-up the store for Friday.  Crammed in 5ish hours of sleep, then headed to the box to squeeze in a quick WOD before the really insanity began.  Yes, I could have done without the pre-14 hour work day WOD, but my workout bud somewhat talked me into going and then bailed last-minute.  Anyways, Friday was insane.  Saturday, Sunday and Monday were pretty non-stop too.  Moral of this rant, I’ve consumed so much coffee in the last 5 days that I think I’ve become immune to it.  Still tastes great, but doesn’t pick me up at ALL anymore haha!  I need a nap.

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