one day it'll all make sense.


Wed. Feb. 17:

Yesterday was awful.  I cried until my eyes burned, and I’m still not done yet.  Maybe I’ll want to talk about it one day, but the wounds are still too fresh.  Then to top things off, after getting to work today and having another mini melt down seeing all of Yuko’s toys still scattered casually in my office, I had to tell an employee I’ve worked with for 4 years his position had been terminated.  We we’re besties or anything, but no decent person enjoys sharing that kind of news.  We both cried.  Now life must go on.  Worst 24 hours I think I’ve experienced.  It’s not entirely done yet, cause I still have my review to “look forward to” this afternoon, but hopefully that’s a better scene.  Either way, life goes on.

After dropping Yuko off yesterday and regaining my composure enough to be around people, I headed to World for a run.  Oh my!  The people watching in that place is incredible!  I mean, there were good shows on the tvs too, but I couldn’t stop watching the live entertainment. It was just what I needed to numb my brain a little before heading to Burlington to be with my girl and watch some more live entertainment (soccer).  I think I’m my father’s daughter in that regard. He always taught me sadness is not meant to be shared. Put on your best smile and face the world. Sadness is weakness. Not saying I agree, but I’ve never been the kind of person who likes anyone to see my tears.

10 Rounds of :
15/12 Calories on Airdyne
Rest 90 seconds between rounds

Not as awful as I expected.  Not exciting, but Petunia and I have made amends.


Thurs. Feb. 18:

For Time:
800m Row
50- Back Squats #135/#95  #85
50- Bench Press #135/#95  #75
800m Row
35- Back Squats #135/#95
35- Bench Press #135/#95
800m Row
20- Back Squats #135/#95
20- Bench Press #135/#95
1- Muscle-up

Time – Long.  (close to 40min)

This was kind of wicked in a variety of interpretations of the word.  Kept my row under 2:10 split time for most of the WOD.  Only cleaned the bar once per back squat round.  Coach Dave stood by the bench ready to spot for my last round of bench press.  When I finished the squats I mentioned “but my legs don’t work!!” his response – “you don’t need legs to bench McDowell.  Get over here.”  LOL!!  After the last round of b. press my arms didn’t work either.

Fri. Feb. 19:

Slowly but surely I’m stepping out of the darkness of this week. Every day is easier.  I can talk about Yuko now and think happy thoughts. I can look at pictures and not fight to keep my composure. I can take a little comfort in knowing that I’ve done something amazing for someone else.  WODs, runs, my work family and my sweetheart of a girlfriend have helped get a real smile back on my face 🙂

Crossfit has been terrible and awesome all rolled into one this week.  I’m pretty relieved to discover my arms and legs do still function after yesterday’s long-ass brutality of a WOD.  Today was simple, but not easy.

Push Jerk: 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 

Obviously there were “treats” hidden in between rounds on this one. Almost 12 days of Christmas style, adding another movement after each jerk – 5 strict pull-ups, 5 box jumps, 5 air squats, 5 strict toes to bar, 5 burpees, something to do with a farmer carry… By the time the farmer carry was mentioned, I was out of time. Attempted #115 for my jerk 5-6 times but couldn’t get myself far enough under the bar to catch it. Will add split jerk to the long list of things to work on!

Classic Coach Dave line – You’ve been through worse!!

Typically surfaces in the toughest part of a grinder of a WOD when I’m sure the look on all of our faces is the same mixture of pain and terror. After the shit I handled this week, that line really resignates with me.

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