one day it'll all make sense.

between the lines

It’s taken me a while to piece it all together, but I’ve finally figured out a bit of the struggle I have with my mother.  There are times we have a great relationship, but others where I don’t really want to involve her in my life at all cause of the stress she causes.  While I know she considers her intentions to be only the best and sees things as someone else is generally to blame, I’m kinda over her shit.  The thing is, we’re good friends… but only when I’m single.  As soon as there’s someone else in my life things blow up.  Why should I have to deal with the torment just for being happy?  I googled it… this it a “thing”!  Single parents (especially) who rely on their children heavily to provide their happy existence.  It’s sad, I get that.  I wish my mom could find someone to love, but the incredible high expectations she has for me in that regard would be tough for anyone to handle.  She asked recently “do I ask too much of you??”  The answer is no, but yes at the same time.  In a literal sense no, but in the context that carries the expectations she would never put to words… yes!  We are responsible for our own happiness, right?  Anyways, not fun.  The rock and hard place comes in knowing I can just suck it up and deal with it, or try to talk to her about it and deal with the consequences of that.  Odds aren’t in my favour when either way.  Bright side – I AM happy 🙂  Had an action-packed weekend as per usual these days.  Got to jam with my girl again yesterday morning after hitting up open gym together at CFD.  Amanda drank the koolaid!!  😀  Super exciting!  Also checked out the Sound of Music Festival in Burlington Saturday night with our Hamilton ball hockey girls.  Good times! 

Sun. June 19:

Partner WOD – For Time:
25 synchronized burpees
500m row
400m run
50 combined KBS

–rest 1 minute

400m run
500m row
50 combined wallballs

–rest 1 minute

 500m row
400m run
50 combined box jumps

400m run
500m row
50 combined lunges
25 synchronized burpees

Time – 40:04

Mon. June 20:

Part 1. Back Squats: 2-2-2  #155
Part 2. 4 Rounds:
400 Meter Run
4- Muscle Ups
40- Double Unders

Part 2 was rough.  It’s 4,000 degrees outside and even hotter in the box.  Rowed the last 2 rounds cause I was tired and not feeling it this morning.  Happy with the squats though 🙂

MS Side note – I’m considering Aubagio.  It’s another guinea pig situation in terms of a new form of treatment for MS.  Not needles though, and the other option was back on Capaxone.  I’ve been drug-free for 6 months, but I’m still concerned as to what kind of damage I could be causing that I just don’t see evidence of right now.

Nutrition side note – I’m sooooo over chicken and broccoli right now.  Probably more so broccoli, but I need to come up with a different idea for lunches.  It also has to be easy ish cause I’m rarely home by myself to cook anymore.  Good thing I got a bigger crockpot for my birthday!!

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