one day it'll all make sense.

Archive for the ‘fitness’ Category


It’s all progress… second full day at home and I’m starting to feel like me at times 👍 After the anesthetic and so many antibiotics my healthy gut is not so healthy 😕 grumbling loudly pretty much all the time and grumpy with anything I consume. Pacing myself with Ketones, bone broth and collagen to try and do some damage control. And sleeping LOTS. I did get out of the house yesterday for an exciting small lap around Walmart and today to go and hang out at the gym with a good book while my girl did the WOD. Both of which required a nap afterwards, but it felt good to get a change of scenery and some fresh (snowy 😖) Ontario air. For the most part, I’ve claimed my corner of the couch and am just spending time relaxing and recovering with the best “nurse” I could ask for ❤️ I added some Amped Ketones back into the mix this morning again after favouring the one with the probiotics and prebiotics for the last few days to help my gut.  The Amped helps my brain work better though, so I’ll be back to sharing helping people find their version of BETTER very soon too 😊


Recalculating route…


So, I’ve spent the last week trying to draft in my mind the post I was going to write about why I was NOT doing the Open this year. There were, and still are, a few BIG factors that led me to that decision, although even to myself they just felt like excuses. Trying to reduce the amount of stress in my life is a big one, which I know a lot of people can relate to. Here’s the new part – this is the first time I would compete without the symptoms I’ve carried around for years. Without the foggy brain. Without the nerve pain in my legs. Without numbness or coordination issues. Without incredible fatigue! From the outside that probably sounds AMAZING, but for me it felt like I was about to sign up for my first Open all over again and with less understanding of how my body was going to react. With everyone watching. Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon excited with the transformation I’ve experienced in my brain and body since I started drinking ketones nearly a year ago, but it’s still a process and always will be. The fears and challenges I had in other years (like 17.1 with all those burpee box jump overs when I had no feeling in my legs) are GONE, but I’m still working to learn how the new and improved version of myself works 🙂 I learned the hard way last weekend that dehydrated and mineral depleted was bad news for me going into a sweat fest of a workout. Noted, and I won’t make that mistake again 😉 Anyways, as I’m sure you could guess from the picture, yesterday I stepped out of my comfort zone and joined the party. 18.2 was challenging, but without the added stress of my old systems. I’m getting used to the feeling of being a better version of me. I feel almost “normal” 😁 (keep your comments to yourself on that one 🤪) and I look forward to continuing the process and helping others do the same. #bestself #bebetter #pruviteveryday #dontgiveuponyou #intheopen #ketones #ketoOS #doublevisionphotography82 #multiplesclerosis #autoimmune

Follow thru

So, I’m making myself commit and actually publish a post.  I have 3-4 drafts just sitting in limbo cause they feel too unfinished to share.  I don’t know if it’s actually a case of the post being incomplete, or a feeling that the thoughts aren’t settled or resolved in my mind.  Probably the later.


I wish this ^^^ held some truth for me.  I guess it probably could if I could stick to the nutrition part all the time… When I’m dealing with sadness, I find running helps.  So in January I’ll be running a LOT.  Might kill 2 birds with 1 stone. It hit me yesterday that Yuko and I have about 6 weeks left together.  I won’t be sad now 🙂 I’ll live in the moment and just love him ❤

I’ve mentioned before, I need rules.  Signed up for the next round of Whole Life Challenge yesterday which starts in January.  My good intentions to keep the ball rolling after the last one fell apart a bit.  The whole “2 indulgences per week” piece has gone to hell in a hand basket.  Not entirely my fault when there’s Christmas cookies and stuff.  Plus I work so much this time of year that it’s hard to take the time to really food prep and eat good meals.  Coach Dave asked this morning what people had for dinner last night.  He called me out and I dodged that bullet sloppily.  Truth of the matter – I made a batch of my banana balls which I had planned to bring as a snack today and maybe tomorrow.  Then I started decorating my Christmas tree.  The banana things are gone and I only put like 8 ornaments on my tree before sending a message to my mom asking if I could hire her to decorate it for me.  Felt guilty about the banana balls, so decided they were dinner.  Hence I didn’t answer Dave’s question cause what was I to say?  I had a banana, a whole cup of oats, a tbsp. of peanut butter and a scoop of protein powder?  So tasty, but on the don’t-ever-make-again list.  Not a veggie in sight there.  😦  Sigh…



I’m so tired…. Last Thursday I had to come in to Henry’s in the morning for a meaningless conference call , then to Sport Chek for 5 hours of shoe box wrestling, then back to Henry’s to set-up the store for Friday.  Crammed in 5ish hours of sleep, then headed to the box to squeeze in a quick WOD before the really insanity began.  Yes, I could have done without the pre-14 hour work day WOD, but my workout bud somewhat talked me into going and then bailed last-minute.  Anyways, Friday was insane.  Saturday, Sunday and Monday were pretty non-stop too.  Moral of this rant, I’ve consumed so much coffee in the last 5 days that I think I’ve become immune to it.  Still tastes great, but doesn’t pick me up at ALL anymore haha!  I need a nap.

Crossfit improv


Ok first of all, when I asked to be stretched out it was to gain a few inches in height.  Like… would you please stretch my legs physio guy.  Not my ARMS.  I don’t have long arms.  But my skills at laundry shrinking are top-notch I guess.  Laundry shrinking mastery level achieved – EXPERT.  Lifa shtuff isn’t supposed to shrink.  :-S



Friday April 18:


A little WOD to do at home- Enjoy a nice little 5KM Run- 
Result – 27:12 

Alright, didn’t break any speed limits with this one but I got out there and got it done 🙂  It was a cloudy morning and just started to rain as I finished up, but it felt good to get out and run again.  Running for me has always been a great time to think.  This was my first time out since last fall really, and a totally different experience than the runs I had been on in my first almost a year living in Waterloo.  When I first moved here, running was used as a way to escape reality and deal with sadness.  Both running and lifting were the friends I leaned on to deal with all the sh*t going through my head after losing the one person I loved more than I ever imagined possible.  I ran when I was sad.  I lifted when I was angry.  Now things have changed 🙂  I run cause I really do just enjoy doing it, and I lift cause it makes me feel like a badass.  And I do it all with a great group of like-minded crazy people who also live for the WODs that totally suck.  Embracing the suck is just so much more rewarding when you can look around and see others who are dying right along with you.  Here we go again with the #boxlove.  Had to give myself a bit of a kick in the butt to get out the door for my little 5km since I knew I was doing this one solo.  After months of grinding it out with the community, it felt a little like playing a team sport by yourself.  I got over it 🙂  Found a new route that took my along the Iron Horse Trail from Waterloo to Victoria Park in Kitchener.  Nice path.  I will be back.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of cramming as much in before dinner with my mom at 6:30.  Taxes – DONE!  Whew!  Made a spaghetti squash casserole for our pseudo Easter dinner cause it’s awesome, and my mom is a vegetarian.  Trust me if you ever met her, she would make sure to let you know probably within the first 5 minutes.  Going out for dinner is an experience.  I’ve considered handing her a microphone to announce her dietary choices to the whole restaurant just to save her the trouble of feeling it necessary to repeat herself over and over.  Anyways, dinner was good and after a pretty non-stop day, I was probably in bed by 9:30.  Let me blame the non-stop day, ok?

Saturday April 19:

I almost cried when I read today’s WOD.  Second thought through my mind was to drive back to Waterloo, WOD, and come back in time to head for another Easter fiasco.  But gas is ridiculous right now, and I may not have enough time anyway, so I decided to engage in a little crossfit improv.  I should have pics… but they’ll have to wait until I get home tonight  😉


For time:
1 mile Run
100 Pull-ups    10 pull-ups, 40 rows (50 total)
200 Push-ups    100
300 Squats    150
1 mile Run

Result – 30:18

Dragged my butt out the door to scope out a little park about 1.5kms from my moms that I thought might have monkey bars.  SCORE!  Well, sort of.  It had those oval shaped monkey bar ring things.  The rest was uncomplicated.  Looped the park a bit on my way there to get in the first mile run.  After 10 pull-ups on the bars though, I realized A: I would be scaling the number of reps (aka cutting them in half) because B: the bars were FREEZING!  and too high.  It was a mighty jump and a quick hail Mary every time I had to drop off to relieve my frozen fingers.  Lucky me, there was a back-up option.  The park had an arched ladder that worked in a similar fashion to the ring pulls I’ve done at the box.  Game on.  They still sucked, but I got through.  Then came the push-ups.  100 of them 😮  Started out on top of a picnic table cause it was nice and warm, but once I had to drop to my knees (which are STILL recovering from the bowling incident) I jumped off the table to finish on the grass.  Wet knees just don’t scream as loud.  :-p  Squats felt great.  By this time, the little old guy who was the only other person in the park was giving me some pretty strange looks.  I just gave him a big smile and wobbled out on slightly jello-ish legs.  Second mile I was sooooo slow!  Haha!  But I wouldn’t let myself drop to a walk at all.  So I’ll take it as a win.  Gorgeous morning too!

Happy Easter!  If it applies 😀


ya’ win some

I have some catching up to do, but I want to ramble about today’s experience while it’s still fresh in my mind 🙂  This morning my OCD took over and would NOT let me leave the apartment with dishes in the sink.  WHO would even know??  ME.  Arg.  I was a little worried I wouldn’t make it to the box early enough to spend some time pre-WOD practicing the biggest GOAT I’ve ever met.  Double-friggin-unders.  Made it 🙂  Got a few!  but as I was skipping along, started to realize that I was all alone.  Yup.  7:30am WOD with just Coach Dave and McDowell.  Or the McDowell as he has been calling me lately :p  We spent a loooong time warming up, which my back thanked me for later.  Also worked on my goal for the month – 5 strict pull-ups unbroken.  Did 10 singles today.  It’s not about perfection, so… #practicemakesprogress

make it count

Then came the WOD (which I’ve taken to dating every day now cause looking back through my post archives and having to play detective to figure out what the date was of each post is annoying.)

Monday April 14:

Part 1. Work up to a heavy, but not maximal Clean and Jerk.   #85

Part 2. 15-14-13-12-11-10  (t2)
Pullups    ring pulls
Handstand Push Ups   seated strict press  #35
*12 Minute time cap

Result: 8:47

As soon as you finish you have 5 Minutes: Establish a 1RM Clean and Jerk   #95

Ok, to some it may seem like peanuts, but #95 is a new PR for me 🙂  It took a few tries… at first I just couldn’t get my head to COMMIT!  I would get the bar high enough, but chicken out and not get under to catch it.  Then I finally landed the clean, and went through the same process throwing the damn bar over my head!  Eff’ that business!  Got it b*tches 😀

OH!!  And I totally underestimated Part 2.  It sucked :p  my shoulders were screaming and Coach Dave called me on trying to cheat/kip the ring pulls.  The strict press may sound light, but trust me it didn’t feel that way by the time I got to the 13s.  “Shake it off McDowell” Dave said half way through.  But what went through my head was “how the hell can I shake it off with the bar on my shoulders!!”  LOL

Saturday April 12:

Today held an event that I’ve been looking forward to since it was announced.  CFD brought in a jump rope rockstar to host a clinic on double unders.  I prayed hard to the double unders gods that I might find the missing piece to this epic’ly frustrating puzzle.  Today did not hold the answer.  Thankfully I’m good at other things.

doubleunders10 double unders NOPE.  More like 1.  The rope lashes count is pretty accurate though.

That’s my 2 cents, I don’t have more for you today.  Left the box fighting back frustration tears.  I don’t really want to talk about it.

Sunday April 13:

Alternating back and forth with a partner…

4 Minutes: 3- Power Cleans #205/#135    #85
4 Minutes: 3- Chest- Bar Pullups    pull-ups (mostly kipping)
4 Minutes: 3- Box Jumps 30”/24”    20″

3 Minutes: 3- Power Cleans #205/#135    #85
3 Minutes:
3- Chest- Bar Pullups     assisted pull-ups
3 Minutes: 3- Box Jumps 30”/24”     20″

2 Minutes:
3- Power Cleans #205/#135    #85
2 Minutes:
3- Chest- Bar Pullups    ring pulls
2 Minutes: 3- Box Jumps 30”/24”     20″

Fun little sweat fest 🙂  BIG WIN for this kid today!  Made it through the 4 minute round with either strict or kipping pull-ups 🙂  No joke!  WOOT!!  That’s kind of a really big deal for me…  On top of that I had a great day for box jumps too.  No step ups at all, and mid way through the 3 minute round I tried a few triplets of touch-n-go style jumps.  Liked it… so did the WHOLE 2 minute round like that 🙂  and didn’t EAT IT.  My brain decided to play along today I guess.

stuck on replay

Ever find yourself stuck on replay?  Like you’re just going through the motions of life day after day but not really going anywhere?  Hmm…

I’m a bit behind on my crossfit logging I know.  Seems my sometimes-I-feel-like-an-80-year-old hip is back to its old tricks.  I should make an appointment to go see the box vet (aka massage wizard), but I seem to be plowing through my coverage for these services and need to hold back if I can.  I’ve considered skipping the box more than once when seeing movements that were not conductive to hip recovery, but then realized that there’s always and option.  Even if I show up and just spend time mobilizing I figure it’s better than sitting on my butt :p  A quick catch up on all of the scaling I’ve resorted to the last few days:

Sunday March 23

In Teams of 2, complete
1 Mile Run
50- Back Squats #225/#155    50 strict press #55
1 Mile Run    1 mile row
Both Athletes run at the same time, 1 Athlete squatting at a time

– ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  I’ve been dying to get out and run for EVER!  The hip was not in agreeance, but for the first round I decided “EFF IT.  I’m running”.  It hurt.  Sigh  😦  And it was -15 out and windy as hell.  And Coach Dave didn’t provide any warning that we would be outside so I ran in shorts, tall socks and a thin long sleeve.  My knees went numb almost instantly so that wasn’t an issue, but my ears and hands hurt like hell :p  “Expect the unexpected”.  I know, I know…

Post WOD, two members had challenged each other to a wallballs showdown to see who could complete 100 faster.  A fun little event and treats to the winner 🙂



                                                  CrossFit Division: 4:22 for 100 Wallballs… Solid job!

Monday March 24

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1  for time
Deadlifts #185/#135     #105
Burpees over the Bar

time – 7:27

This one was fun 🙂  I’m a freak, I know, but I actually enjoy burpees and my hip didn’t complain about them either.  The deads felt ok-ish too provided I listened to Coach Dave’s advise and fought to keep my left knee from dropping inward.  I was happy with #105, but on a normal day I could have totally gone Rx here.

Oh ya! Our warm-up consisted of a bunch of the usual stuff, including a light jog around the inside of the box and sideways shuffle.  Who falls during the warmup??  This kid.  Maybe three steps into the sideways bit my mind checked out for a moment and I was staring up at the ceiling :p  Haven’t done THAT in a long time!  Was actually starting to think I could give crossfit a big HI-5 for helping me improve my coordination.  Wrong.  lol

Tuesday March 25

warm-up: 3 rounds – 5 pull-ups, 5 push-ups, 5 sit-ups, 5 squats

Every Minute on the minute for 14 Minutes:
Odd Minutes:
 AMRAP of 5- Burpees + 5-Thrusters #95/#65   5 strict press  #35 + 5 ring pulls
Even Minutes: Rest

Result – 17 rounds + 7 reps

Thrusters?  Goodie :p  Can you think of a movement that involves your hips more?  Nope.  Me either.  My scaling option had nothing to do with the original WOD, but I really enjoyed it 🙂  Kept the intensity level HIGH and rocked through the rounds.  My chest and I are not friends today after all the ring pulls.  Haha love it.

During the warm-up Coach Dave asked if I’ve been working on my pull-ups 🙂  Busted.  I do work at my job, I swear to you…


into the light

They say, It’s always darkest before the dawn.  Well, I’ve kept dormant in terms of blogging over the last few days as there was a whole lot of negativity bouncing around in my head that I really didn’t feel like releasing out into the world.  This is a little excerpt which I drafted Wednesday which helped me realize how crazy I was being:

Sometimes all the determination in the world just isn’t enough.  After all the hours I put in trying as hard as I could to get the rope to turn faster and harder, to jump higher… It wasn’t enough.  I was happy that I got 6 reps cause 6 is better than zero, but had to discontinue my mission to catch up on the reading of my fellow bloggers’ posts about their 14.1 awesomeness.  I’m not being a brat, I am genuinely happy for all those who worked hard and were successful.  It’s just that I set the bar really high for my own performance… 

I mentioned this to a very few and the response was basically “don’t be silly!”  I wasn’t.  I was being honest.  You see, the “cloud 9” I rode into last Saturday on vanished and I crashed back to reality pretty hard.  Thankfully in the process of getting my head back on track, a friend made a comment that stuck with me:

The funny thing is that it’s only you against you, no one else!

Eloquently put 🙂 and exactly what I needed to hear.  It’s an important lesson to learn, no doubt, but it can be one of the hardest.

Last night 14.2 was announced.  I did the briefest of happy dances in my mind at seeing NO double unders 🙂 but then realized what I was reading was still nothing short of crazy hard.  Regardless, I’m stoked to give the Open another shot.

Open WOD 2Another happy note (which is proving a little bittersweet today as my quads are still angry) is Wednesday’s WOD was AWESOME!  My fellow fitness and food junkie from work is getting into crossfit and came to his first workout Wednesday as well.  It was brutal and I LOVED it 🙂  One good thing I’ve gotten from my days of being disappointed in my 14.1 result is a determination to prove to myself that I DO deserve to be a part of the amazing community at CFD by giving EVERYTHING to every other workout that comes our way.  Wednesday was the perfect opportunity:

Part 1. OTM, 7 minutes:

– 7 toes to bar

– 7 box jumps, 20″

Part 2. For Time:

10 Rounds of “Cindy”

30- Front Squats #185/#135    #75

10 Rounds of “Cindy”

*”Cindy”= 5 Pullups/10 Pushups/ 15 Air Squats*   *pull-ups scaled to ring pulls

Part 3. 10-20 Minutes Recovery on the C2 Rower

Coach Dave put a 25 minute time cap on part 2 to prevent this one from going all night.  I finished in 24:00 🙂 and made my way to the white board on very wobbly legs to record my time.  A WOD like this one was exactly what my mind needed to get back to the positive side of things.  Even the complaints I received from my quads yesterday while climbing the stockroom shelves at Sport Chek brought a huge smile to my face 😀  That’s right!  That WOD sucked.  BUT I DID IT 🙂


Went in this morning for my fav. class of the week 🙂  Although, the Friday coffee ritual which we have created does take away from the Coach Dave’s attempted hijacking of Coach Sharon’s classes…  That was part of the entertainment!  Didn’t workout this time though, just went for some mobilizing and some tips/practice for later.  Doing my 14.2 today around 4:00pm.  Wish me luck!  To all my blog “friends” also completing the Open, I wish the best of luck to you as well!

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