one day it'll all make sense.

Posts tagged ‘tecfidera’

Follow thru

So, I’m making myself commit and actually publish a post.  I have 3-4 drafts just sitting in limbo cause they feel too unfinished to share.  I don’t know if it’s actually a case of the post being incomplete, or a feeling that the thoughts aren’t settled or resolved in my mind.  Probably the later.

ifonlythisweretrue

I wish this ^^^ held some truth for me.  I guess it probably could if I could stick to the nutrition part all the time… When I’m dealing with sadness, I find running helps.  So in January I’ll be running a LOT.  Might kill 2 birds with 1 stone. It hit me yesterday that Yuko and I have about 6 weeks left together.  I won’t be sad now 🙂 I’ll live in the moment and just love him ❤

I’ve mentioned before, I need rules.  Signed up for the next round of Whole Life Challenge yesterday which starts in January.  My good intentions to keep the ball rolling after the last one fell apart a bit.  The whole “2 indulgences per week” piece has gone to hell in a hand basket.  Not entirely my fault when there’s Christmas cookies and stuff.  Plus I work so much this time of year that it’s hard to take the time to really food prep and eat good meals.  Coach Dave asked this morning what people had for dinner last night.  He called me out and I dodged that bullet sloppily.  Truth of the matter – I made a batch of my banana balls which I had planned to bring as a snack today and maybe tomorrow.  Then I started decorating my Christmas tree.  The banana things are gone and I only put like 8 ornaments on my tree before sending a message to my mom asking if I could hire her to decorate it for me.  Felt guilty about the banana balls, so decided they were dinner.  Hence I didn’t answer Dave’s question cause what was I to say?  I had a banana, a whole cup of oats, a tbsp. of peanut butter and a scoop of protein powder?  So tasty, but on the don’t-ever-make-again list.  Not a veggie in sight there.  😦  Sigh…

Lol

Lol

I’m so tired…. Last Thursday I had to come in to Henry’s in the morning for a meaningless conference call , then to Sport Chek for 5 hours of shoe box wrestling, then back to Henry’s to set-up the store for Friday.  Crammed in 5ish hours of sleep, then headed to the box to squeeze in a quick WOD before the really insanity began.  Yes, I could have done without the pre-14 hour work day WOD, but my workout bud somewhat talked me into going and then bailed last-minute.  Anyways, Friday was insane.  Saturday, Sunday and Monday were pretty non-stop too.  Moral of this rant, I’ve consumed so much coffee in the last 5 days that I think I’ve become immune to it.  Still tastes great, but doesn’t pick me up at ALL anymore haha!  I need a nap.

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lacking direction

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Some days, I have no idea.  Getting closer to the Christmas craziness and I’m trying to get myself organized enough that it won’t be too insane.  But who am I kidding really 😉 At least my shopping is pretty much done.  Although it’s a little bittersweet, I thankfully don’t have many to shop for since changes at work could leave me bitter and searching for a new job come January.  Fingers crossed that’s not necessary though.  My 4-legged fur child will be completely smitten to play with an empty box on Christmas morning.  My Sport Chek job redeems itself large when it comes to shopping for my sporty parents.  My sister Claire has become a friend more than ever this year which makes me super happy AND gives me lots of gift ideas, and the youngest sister is a punk and might be getting a lump of coal.  See? Easy.

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I feel like I should touch on the Whole Life Challenge.  I got so far as a 2-part draft that has yet to be published, and I’m not doing a re-edit now cause that’s often where I drop all the “real ness” from it cause I realize that things didn’t work out as planned.  Anyways, a few of us are already talking about doing it again.  I need guidelines in life.  Without a goal or target, things spin out of control.  Almond butter finds its way back into my fridge, stays for a few days, then disappears.  It’s a bad scene.  On the bright side, I killed yesterday’s WOD.  Coach Dave asked at one point why I don’t blog anymore.  I didn’t really have an answer for him.  Actually I didn’t really have an answer for myself… But I think I do now.  I think I’ve realized that I just don’t know what direction I want to go anymore.  I’ve beat the food element to the ground.  I’ve rambled endlessly about crossfit. But I’m at least a little bit over talking about both.  Both still excite me, but neither are new.  The honeymoon is over.

Anyways…

Fri. Nov. 20:

5 Rounds: 
1:00 Minute: Overhead Squats #115/#75 
1:00 Minute: KB Swings (24/16kg) 
1:00 Minute: Toes to Bar sit-ups
1:00 Minute: Rest 

Result – 350 reps

10-30-30.  That was my goal from round 1, and I DID manage to maintain it the whole way through 🙂  Weights were Rx too.  Woot!  Some days it just comes together.  Nice way to wrap up the week.

Sun. Nov. 15:

WLC Complete.  I had written in my agenda – CRUSH final WOD.  I was partially successful with that goal I guess.  Completed 36 more reps than I did the first time through, but my pull-ups still held me up more than I would have liked.  Oh well, it’s about progress.  I killed the row, and it returned the favour.  Felt like death for a bit after going as hard as I could for 15 minutes.  I DID however, win the challenge points part (nutrition, mobilization, water, etc) so I’ll just be happy with that 🙂

Fri. Nov. 13:

It’s been a strange week.  Monday WOD was good.  Tuesday Coach Dave told me I should be taking a rest day post-comp (oops!), so I stripped some weight off the deadlift bar (sigh) and rested Wednesday as usual.  Thursday I could barely walk.  WTF?! My stupid hip was back to its old tricks and full force!  I left Sport Chek an hour early, much to my manager’s disapproval, cause the stupid hip was killing me.  He’s a nob.  He’ll get over it.  Then today, I woke up feeling perfectly fine, almost like Thursday was just a bad dream.  Weird, although I’m not complaining.  Side note – my dreams have been really weird too.

Today is the LAST day of the Whole Life Challenge.  Tomorrow, there will be bacon.  No question.  I predict chocolate in my future at some point too…  All in all, it’s been a great experience for me.  It’s taught me some habits that I will most definitely look to continue.  Example – I have not missed taking my MS drugs ONCE in 56 days!  That’s unheard of.  And I’ve finally (after years of saying I would) started taking vitamin D.  Supposed to be insanely important for people with MS.  My water intake was always good, so that wasn’t a struggle.  Stretching at least 10 minutes a day feels really good, so why stop?  Plus Yuko enjoys the ritual of stepping on my hair and trying to lick my face while I’m on the floor.  AND I’ve gone through the hang over of giving up some bad food choices so I have no intention of falling back down that rabbit hole.  My main goal wasn’t weight loss, although it’s totally a bonus, cause I’ve lost 10lbs along the way.  The final test will be to see how my performance compares on Sunday when we do our ending workout.  One thing I didn’t stick with as much as intended was my goal to work on my pull-ups.  I mean, I had 56 days… I should have been able to make a difference in that period but I just haven’t put in the effort I had planned.

 

step up!

I’ve found myself struggling to deal with change this year. The ever shortening days are really changing my game. I spent the whole summer devoting a huge amount of my non-working hours to hiking with my pup. Most nights we could get 1 1/2-2 hours in before the sun faded away, but now if I manage to start work and hour early and leave an hour early, we may get a half an hour before dark.  It’s been a tough adjustment, and not one I’ve completely accepted just yet…  Thankfully there are still days like today 🙂  The sun was shinning, the wind wasn’t trying to blow us away, and Yuko and I got to our favourite trail for a nice long walk.

 

NMOM 2015

Sat. Nov. 6 – Nightmare on Mill Street

2nd time competing at Crossfit Kitchener yesterday.  This year was awesome cause for once the injury fair passed right on over me.  Unfortunately my team-mate was not so lucky though 😦  Coach Sharon probably deserves a chance to throw me an “I told you so!!” though.  The placement of this year’s GM conference falling Tues-Thurs the week of the comp meant I was good and rested!  That never happens :p

WOD 1: My eff’n Legs   <— NO JOKE!!!

  • 400m sled pull, 100m each – whole team moves together
  • 200 lunges – 10 wallballs buy in when a new person picks up the bar
  • 400m sled pull, 100m each – whole team moves together

Time – 19:13  good for 1st in our heat 😀

WOD 2: Sprint Relay

4 rounds – each team-mate completes:

  • 5 power cleans  #75
  • 10 burpee box jumps
  • 2 shuttle sprints

Not sure our time, but 4th in this one 🙂

WOD 3: Skill/Aerobic/Stregth

Each team member completes:

  • 3 rope climbs
  • 1000m row
  • 5rep max overhead squat**  #90

** when person 1 completes the row, person 2 can start rope climb. Person 1 then has until person 2 is done row to build to 5RM OHS.  Score is time for team to complete 4x1000m row & combined 5RM weight.  No big dudes on our team.  Row was quick, but max weight wasn’t massive.  I wanted to try 95 for my OHS, but ran out of time.  Oh, and I’m not sure my arms would have kept the bar up either!  90 was a struggle!

NMOM 2015 17

WOD 4: Cindy with a twist

Last WOD of the day and the game plan needed a last-minute revamp.  My female partner hurt her back in WOD 3 and couldn’t deadlift with me.  There was a moment of panic for sure… I thought I was going into the whole WOD solo, but we settled with me taking the deads and pull-ups.  End of the day, the pain on MB’s face during the squats told me I should have stepped up even more and taken the whole WOD.  We may have ended with fewer rounds, but a little friendly comp isn’t worth making an injury worse.  I’m sure if Dave and Sharon had been there, Coach Sharon wouldn’t have advised MB to fight through the pain 😦  I should have persisted, but can’t change it now. Lesson learned.

AMRAP, 10 minutes:

  • 3 deadlifts (partner) solo #185
  • 5 pull-ups
  • 10 push-ups
  • 15 squats

Guys – 11 rounds + ?    Girls – 7 rounds + 20

As partners – males together, females together. Break up movements any way desired.  8×3 185lb Deadlifts was shitty, but my CFD friend who was there cheering and taking pics assures me that my form at least didn’t go to hell in a hand basket.  “You made them look easy!” she said.  It was an act.

NMOM 2015 19

Dear Fitbit, I’m not sure we can be friends.  You just don’t “get” me at all. Or just can’t comprehend crossfit maybe. 4 WODs in a day and I still didn’t make my calorie goal, but today’s yoga and walk with Yuko, no problemo.  Sometimes I just feel like you don’t appreciate how hard I work.

Whole Life, day 19

Past the point of testing the waters now.  Into the 3rd week of this and I’ve found my groove.  Learned the hard way over the weekend that being totally prepared when it comes to food is so critical cause the “I’ll just wing it” approach bit me in the butt a bit.  I mean who goes to a cottage weekend with a big group of friends and actually loses a few pounds?  Especially when there was chocolate, candy, chips, donuts, Cheetos, and BOOZE everywhere.  Not saying I was completely unprepared, I just underestimated how much I actually eat in a day!  Second note on temptations – for probably the last week I’ve gone through periods of planning how I’ll use one of the 4 indulgence tokens I’ve earned.  Thing is, it’s never gone beyond the planning stage as I can’t come up with a treat or reward that I can justify as worth it.  I’ve come this far and been through so much to get over the cravings, why give in now?  Took me at least a week to stop dreaming of Quest bars, what if allowing myself one means another week of chocolate cookie dough dreams?  No thanks.  Although I’m breaking up with my girlfriend tonight, so that might be the push I need.  Not getting too deep into that, but I realized I don’t want the instant family.

Probably a combination effort of Coach Dave’s awesome programming and my clean diet, but WODs have felt pretty great lately.  Especially the grinders.  I mean, those have always been my thing, but even with a stupid cold yesterday I kinda crushed this little piece to hellish heaven:

Tues. Oct. 6:

5 Rounds of 3:00 On/1:00 Off:
200 Meter Run
15- Wallballs
Max Reps Burpee Box Jumps (24/20) in time remaining.

Total – 71 burpee box jumps 😀

Right from the 3, 2, 1 GO!!!  The rest of the 6am class shot ahead of me.  I had a so;id pace for the run, but not all out.  There’s something to be said about strategy and knowing your own strengths.  I was the last one back in the box every round, but eased through my wallballs unbroken and at a good pace.  At the end, I met my goal.  Consistancy.  Rounds 1-4 I got 14 burpee box jumps, and added an extra rep for round 5.  Although… I won’t deny I was pretty sure I was going to barf after round 4.

Also a noteworthy day was:

“Diane”
21 – 15 – 9:
Deadlifts (225/155)   #135
Handstand Pushups

Time – 8:52

WOOT!!  Last one finished, but I was still on cloud 9.  First time completing Diane where I didn’t scale the handstand push-ups.  Many reps weren’t pretty, and the last 3 took 7 attempts to get, but still!!  WOOT!!

 

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Right??  The last point killed me.  LOL

This week has been the first time that I can remember that I’ve just not enjoyed most of the WODs.  I mean, they’ve been a good workout, very metcon-ish.  Suck it up buttercup, I know.  I just miss a heavy barbell :p  Today I was working alongside a friend who I often partner WOD with lately.  In I think the middle of round 4 I heard a subtle “I hate my life right now…” from her direction.  That was one of those moments where I realize I’m not alone 😉

Fri. Aug. 21:

Five rounds for time of:
50 Feet- Overhead Walking Lunges #45/#35
21- Burpees

Time – 12 something.

My shoulders were screaming the whole way through this.  Yesterday had dumbbell shoulder assassination, so I wasn’t totally surprised.  Hope I wasn’t the only person who feared they might face plant the first rep of burpees like every round.  Post-WOD a bunch of us went for a nice little mile run to flush out the legs 🙂  Wonder pup came along.  He’s become the greatest running buddy.  Cross your fingers he gets into the breeding program and stays with me please!

IMG_0299

My favourite this week for sure was Hero Tuesday 🙂  I lapped Coach Sharon by an entire round!  She still blames the fact that she let me park my bar in front of the fan (possibly true), but I’ll take it as a huge WIN anyways!

Tues. Aug. 18:

“Wittman”

Seven rounds for time of:
15- Kettlebell Swings
15- Power Cleans #95
15- Box Jumps

Time – 18:50 Rx

It never gets easier

You just get better.  That’s what I’ve read… Although I’m not sure you get better, or just build a greater capacity for dealing with the “suck”.  When I talk about being sore, or bruised some think I’m complaining.  No one did this to me, I did it all by myself and I’m proud off all the work it took to get there.  :-p  Except ripped hands.  When that happens I probably really am complaining.

As usual, this wasn’t published the day it was written so I have more awesomeness to add:

“G.I. Jane”

100 burpee pull-ups

Time – 22:51 (I think)

What a mental game this one is. I could have said “eff this!” And walked away a few times.  Ok few like a lot.  This week has been HEAVY doses of stuff and parts still hurt a bit from Sunday.  And Monday.  And a LOT from Tuesday…

————————————-

It’s been a while, but life is good.  Summers are busy, and not the Canadian weather where I want to sit in front of my computer.  This being said, we’ve had some pretty awesome and important WODs lately that I need to document.   Intended to stick to the Tuesday WODs, but I threw a Friday WOD into the mix too cause it left me hurting for days after. When Karen was the dose for today and I realized I either haven’t done it straight up before, or I’ve failed to write about it.  Would love to have a time to compare to next time around!  Tuesday’s are now Benchmark WOD day.  For the last two weeks it was hero WODs, then today Karen.  She is no hero.

Tues. Aug. 11:

“Karen”

For Time:
150- Wallballs 20lbs/14lbs

Time – 8:58

Rx’d the WOD, then scaled the post-WOD run with the dog.  I’d call it a brisk walk, but even then I’d be lying.

Tues. Aug. 4:

Holleyman
30 Rounds of:
5- Wallballs
3- Handstand Pushups
1- Power Clean #225/#155

Time – 41:40

This WOD is Sharon’s fav.  Not sure I can say the same.  My predictions were a little off though, since I expected the wallballs to suck a lot more than they did.  It was the handstand pushups that killed me.  By about round 25, I was well beyond stringing the 3 together and more to the point of needing at least 2 attempts for the 3rd rep, then 2nd and 3rd rep.  Just couldn’t seem to kip hard enough to lock out!  It wasn’t pretty, but I finished it 😀

Fri. July 31:

For Time:
20- Sumo Deadlift High Pull #95/#65
40- Thrusters #115/#75(20)/#65
60- Deadlift #135/#95 #85
30- Alternating Front Rack Lunges #135/#95  #85

Time – ??

Jeezuz!!  I already had PTSD from thrusters in the Open and the Showdown Throwdown.  This didn’t help.  #85 deadlifts?  pffft, piece of cake.  Wrong.  At that point, the empty bar might have felt tough.  Then came the lunges… a few reps I pretty much “took a knee” and had a moment of “oh crap.  I’m stuck.”, but figured it out and finished.  Right before the WOD Coach Dave came over and tossed me a “Rx McDowell.  All the way through, you got this!”  I tried 😀  made it half way through the thrusters before shaving 10lbs off.  While I cried to my bar.

Tues. July 28:

Tuesdays have become Hero WOD day.  Today was a beauty.  Yuko came with me for the first 1.5 mile run, then lay plastered to the floor while I completed the rest.  Pretty happy with my time 🙂  especially while towing a 50lb+ lab.

“Riley”

For Time
1.5 Mile Run
150- Burpees
1.5 Mile Run

Time – 40:19

Squat therapy

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And I’m not even the hugging type.  But that’s a whole different story.

Where do I even begin?  Or more so, what do I even feel like sharing…

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

-Passenger

I’ve been riding a high for so long that I was honestly starting to think it was possible to continue that way forever.  I knew life was good, but I don’t think even realized just how good until I got knocked down.  I’m still hanging on to the hope that I will be able to stick it out without falling apart until Yuko learns to just co-operate at the box.  Some days are great, some days are awful but c’est la vie.

We’ve been doing a LOT of cardio WODs lately it seems, which is exactly what I need right now.  My clothes are fitting nicely again 🙂  Plus Yuko and are still getting out for a walk or run every day it’s not pouring raining.  Around 5km per day has been the therapy I’ve needed at times.  Like Tuesday.  My DM came in to visit, which struck me as totally weird right when she first mentioned she would be in.  We don’t often see anyone from head office.  I’ve always had a good relationship with her, so although I was a little suspicious I was also looking forward to the visit.  My store looks great and sales have been quite good lately.  Except my fears were right.  I got a write up.  Ouch.  I’m not a fan of HR and never have been even pre-Henry’s.  They pass judgement without searching out both sides of any story.  Apparently an “exit interview” was done when we terminated my ex-assistant and he made some allegations.  Lie #1 – I spend too much time in the office on Facebook.  Ok – I am the anti-Facebook.  I was prepared to close my account after I moved from Etobicoke, but I stuck with it cause my CFD people have a group.  Only time I go on is to post pictures from the box, and that’s never on my ghetto work PC.  Lie #2 – I don’t let the staff have any fun.  I’m sorry if it seems unfair when I ask people to please lower the volume on their conversations when congregated near another staff member speaking with a customer on the phone.  Also not a huge fan of drawn out Snap Chat conversations while on the sales floor.  Further emphasis to my opinion that social media is harmful to relationships/friendships/family etc.  The part that bugs me the most is reflecting back to the looooong list of people I’ve worked with/for over the years.  I actually like my job.  I’m actually proud of the company I work for and the position I hold.  I’m one of the few people who still exist who actually give a damn.  But I’m getting a write-up.

So Tuesday morning’s WOD was great.  Then the shit hit the fan.  Then Wednesday is a rest day.  So TODAY I couldn’t wait to go sweat out anger/hurt feelings.  Today was a day that I would have attacked any WOD just cause I needed it so bad.  Good thing I guess, cause today’s WOD was brutal.

Thurs. July 16:

“Helton”
3 Rounds:
800 Meter Run
30 Dumbbell Squat Cleans (50’s/30’s)  20’s
30 Burpees

Time – 31:42

You know it’s wicked when the burpees are the “rest” portion.  That was the case today.  This was the kind of WOD that drags you right down to rock bottom, then pushes you to fight your way back up. Fitting for the emotional train wreck I’ve been for the last day and a half.  I probably should figure out a new solution for dinner though.  Most days it seems I get a good breakfast and lunch, then hopefully a snack before heading to the trail after work with the dog.  By the time I get home it’s too late for dinner and by morning I’m pretty hungry but I won’t eat before a WOD.  Could explain why I had to drag myself around the box (2x) for the final 800m…

Tues. July 14:

50 – 40 – 30 – 20 – 10 Reps:

Double-Unders
Abmat Sit-Ups
200 Meter Run after each round.

I’m typing this on Thurs.  My abs still hurt.  A scaling option for the double unders was lower reps at 10 – 8 – 6 – 4 – 2.  I definitely got the last 3 rounds, but the 10 & 8 probably had a bunch of questionable reps.

Mon. July 13:

Teams of 3
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Thrusters
50 Reps (95/65) #55
50 Reps (115/80) #65
Max Reps (135/95) #75
-3 Minute Rest-
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Hang Power Cleans
50 Reps (135/95)  #65
50 Reps (155/105)  #75
Max Reps (185/135)  #95
-3 Minute Rest-
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Deadlifts
50 Reps (185/135) #125
50 Reps (225/155)  #145
Max Reps (275/185)  #165

Max Reps – 18 / 17 / 42

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