one day it'll all make sense.

Posts tagged ‘weightloss’

Finding my rhythm 

“So, this week has been different. I figured I’d ease into the transition of WODing less and lifting more,  but when Amanda decided she wanted to try to we sorta jumped in with both feet! The game plan was (and I think still is essentially) lift Monday and Wednesday with a Coach Carson, Tuesday by ourselves, then WOD Friday and Saturday. Except yesterday’s WOD didn’t sound great so we lifted Friday too! The only problem I see that could happen is I never used to cherry pick workouts. The WOD was the only option, so I just sucked it up and did it even when it sounded horrible. Now there’s another option 😳 I mean, we still got a great workout, but I haven’t really sweat yet this week and my Fitbit thinks I’ve maybe died or been kidnapped or something. There’s a huge positive note coming… Tuesday I PR’d my snatch!!! Finally after like 100 years!! 😁 AND my girl PR’d pretty much everything. Snatch, overhead squat, deadlift (200lb club!!), strict press, back squat… it’s been a great week.  Saturday partner WOD was a sweat fest, so nice way to round things off too.

 

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On the nutrition front, I’m trying to not fall into old habits in terms of mindset. When I change something and don’t see mad results after two weeks I tend to get discouraged… I don’t think my clothes are fitting any different and the number on the scale hasn’t really budged. I know there are other factors that could be affecting that (like being a GIRL), but my negativity still wants to trash talk my efforts. Anyways… I’m sticking to the plan and hoping I’m on the right path. My days are pretty routine for food:

Breakfast – 2 eggs, 1/3 sweet potato

Snack – beef protein shake, 1/4 cup oats+1 tbsp flax+1/2 tbsp chia+6 almonds+1/2 banana

Lunch – BBQ’d chicken breast, BBQ’d veggies

Snack – 1/2 chicken breast, 2 tbsp BBQ sauce, snap peas, carrots

Dinner – BBQ’d chicken breast or salmon, BBQ’d veggies

*sometimes there’s a second protein shake, or double oatmeal depending on the day/WOD. My one guilty pleasure is the BBQ sauce 😦 one days I might get over that but maybe not. Not much variety, but SO tasty and Amanda and I are both cool with it, so whatever. All works out to around 1,400 cals per day with 130-150g protein, 100-125g carbs, 40g fat. I’ve basically cut the fat in half and doubled the carbs. Now my fingers are crossed it’s the right recipe for my stupid body.

Now there’s a plan

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Let us back-track for a moment… 5 years ago I had just moved to Waterloo.  I had been living a pretty crazy life with a long drive to and from work every day and LOTS of ball hockey. Also quite committed to the global gym scene.  I had recently started the whole Paleo routine trying to fix some health crap. Oh! And I was skinny!! Not healthy necessarily despite all my efforts, but shopping for pants mad me happy for the first time in my life. Unfortunately that was the only thing really at time, but it was pretty huge. Life in Waterloo was a real change. I was 6km from my job, with an awesome gym in between. I had so much time on my hands I didn’t really know what to do with it at first, but I figured it out. Reconnected with an old friend from work who had gotten into personal training and started lifting. You probably know that drill… Monday leg day, Tuesday back and biceps, etc.  Pretty boring stuff, but I wanted to gain some muscle. Then one day I found crossfit. It was new for me, but brought the cardio element back to my world which I had been missing (Waterloo doesn’t offer the same ball hockey opportunities Toronto did!!). It was new, and scary, and exciting… and FUN!!  Downside… I slowly started to gain weight. At first I thought, all good its muscle. And in a sense I was right! But every season I was shopping for new clothes cause the old ones didn’t fit anymore. After a while I started to freak out a bit, so I tightened up my diet (which was pretty strictly Paleo already) and worked out more. But the weight kept creeping up. Could I have been going about things all wrong?! Fast forward to today and finally realizing that crossfit and Paleo could be responsible for my weight gain!! WTF!?!? I read this a few days ago which really got the ball rolling in my mind:

paleo-made-fat-pop-tarts-got-shredded/

I felt like this guy completely understood how I’ve felt!! I mean, I have a pretty decent 6-pack that I’ve worked really hard for, but there’s this layer of body fat covering everything.  I did a bit more reading and decided it was time for a change. I had already made the decision to give up nut butters, which at least had me in the right direction, but I’m increasing my carbs as well. After 5 years of quite a low carb intake, it might be just what my body needs? Or I might get fatter. I’m really hoping option A is reality.   There’s a part 2 to this rant. With dropping the fat content, my macros were in line with what Coach Jen had recommended at my nutrition consult, but my calories were still quite low.  So I asked! Explained my frustration and what I was looking for and got another response I hadn’t been expecting!  My focus had been set on adjusting the diet component once again, but Jen’s thoughts were along a different line.  Could crossfit be to blame?  Seriously??  So now it’s a matter of trying to determine wether my super-clean eating or intense workout routine is the reason I can’t shed a few pounds.  Not binge eating, or nights of drinking, or sitting on the couch… a clean diet or exercise.  What. The. FUCK.  Jen is also looking to lean out before a very important event in June, so she is readjusting her workout routine with the same goal in mind.  “We could lift together!  Misery loves company, right?” she said haha!  Anyways, her plan involves just lifting 3 times a week and cutting the WODs to 2 per week MAX.  They are great, but they cause stress on your body (says Jen) Some people handle stress by loosing weight, some bodies go into panic mode and store everything as fat!  So… sitting on the couch might actually be a more effective way to lose weight?  I don’t know… so confused.  What I DO know is crossfit keeps me sane and happy, so I’m making some adjustment to my workout routine for now but focusing more on the nutrition part.  Last night we went to Olympic lifting class instead of the WOD for the first time in ages 🙂  It’s kinda strange how I used to feel like I was ripping myself off from the sweatfest I needed and just went through the motions of the class without much enthusiasm.  Last night was so different!  I loved it 🙂  and Coach Carson is amazing!  The crossfit side of things will benefit SO much from working with him too.  Plus if I can actually lean out a little the gymnastic parts should improve as well.

Anyways… long rant.  I have always had a goal, but now I feel like I have a plan too.  Hopefully that’s the difference this time.  To be continued…

Chaotic

This post could be a chaotic one… just saying.  I’ve got a bunch of thoughts swimming around in my head and I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to put them all down quite yet. 🙂

Tomorrow a good-sized group from CFC are starting the Whole Life Challenge.  I considered it, but A: I’ve already done it.  Twice.  B: I can think of better ways to spend money right now.  C: Although I did seriously consider it, I just couldn’t see how it would create enough of an impact to make a difference.  I eat clean.  Other than the once a month pizza night cheat meal, I’d have to give up gum and spend more $$ on clean bacon.  Just not enough of a difference to make a difference.  Anywho… I’ve decided to give up nut butter for the duration of the challenge instead.  Cause as always, I’m not happy with my body and want to find whatever is making me carry around extra fat.  I mean, I have abs!  I can see them sometimes… like when I move or whatever.  But I want to just see them.  So maybe no nut butter will help.

I’m dealing with an MS relapse this week.  Not a bad one, but still not fun and in a totally new environment makes it challenging.  My Henry’s crew new me.  They new what was normal and how to help when things were rough.  So did my CFD crew.  This is a new experience with Amanda too and I’m really doing my best to communicate things with her and help her understand.  I know how it feels to be on the other side of things too where you just want to help but you have no idea how.  I read a post yesterday (while sitting on my butt with a warm Magic Bag draped over my legs) that described very well the communication challenges.  I shared the post with Amanda cause it seemed easier than trying to interpret my own version.  The author refers to MS as her sidekick.  It’s something that has an invisible but constant impact on your physical well-being and state of mind.  Yet no matter how long you’ve been living with this sidekick, it can still be quite challenging to decide how much to keep to yourself.  It’s also challenging cause when things are my normal I have no need to share anything, but when something comes up I mentally often don’t have the space in my mind to also take into consideration how to explain what I’m dealing with.  My mind is occupied with “Just get through this.  It will pass.”  I mentioned to Amanda yesterday, it’s a battle in my mind cause there can be a fine line between I don’t want you to feel like I’m shutting you out and I don’t want to get to the point where it’s like a broken record.  This week os thankfully not too bad.  I can still crossfit (although not quite at my usual intensity but it’s something!).  Coach Jason approached me after the WOD on Tuesday where I had scaled to a 75lb bar when I really wanted to try at least 95 and commented “is that YOUR bar?! You could have done heavier! 😉 ” Oh, trust me… it’s a tough enough mental battle to convince myself to be smart.  I did call in sick to work yesterday, which is hugely odd for me, but the pain in my legs has been pretty intense.  Ever had frostbite?  Know how it feels when your frozen bits start to warm up again?  Well, that painful burning sensation has moved in from just above my knees to my toes and doesn’t seem to want to leave quite yet.  Anyways, if it interests you here’s the post I read:

https://www.msconnection.org/Blog/October-2016/An-Inconvenient-Sidekick#

I had my weekly dose of puppy therapy on Wednesday 🙂  Pluto came to work with me and kept me smiling.  He’s actually the only reason I didn’t call in sick Wednesday too, but look at this kid?  How could I pass up the chance to chill with him?

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Amanda and I are starting a little side project together.  I’ve been hired to shoot at CFC (like, NOT for free!) and  my awesome girl wants to join the fun too!  When we shoot together I figured it wasn’t right to just put my signature on the photos so yesterday we came up with a name and logo 🙂  With the Open right around the corner, we’ll have plenty of opportunity to shoot too!

dvlogo

 

why can’t we have both?

I got to work this morning in my summertime “uniform” of shorts and flip flops.  Added a t-shirt instead of a tank top since it IS September now and all, but looked around at all the people walking around in pants and long sleeves.  A little much people!  It was a cooler morning than the utter sweatfest we endured in July and August, but still!  I like the slightly cooler weather (especially for WODing!!) but I’m not at all ready to tuck away my flip flops for the season!  I’ve already warned Amanda I plan to wear them till it snows.whiteHero Friday was a tough one this week!!  Back up a moment… I was pretty smitten with myself for completing the whole workout on Thursday without scaling the pull-ups even though my paws were pretty angry.  Then when I read Friday’s WOD I realized I wasn’t entirely smart.  15 rope climbs and 50 toes to bar were tough with sore hands and lats, but I was stubborn (as usual) and went Rx anyways.  Slowest Rx time recorded for the day! High-5!  LOL!  You can’t win ’em all.  My last round of toes to bar were a broken rep scheme 3-2-2…2(shit!)..1…1…1(arg!)…1 but at least I finished it 🙂  I’m a bit tired and more than a bit sore, but happy with the accomplishment.

Fri. Sept. 2:

HERO FRIDAY “WHITE” @ CFC

5 Rounds, for time:
3 Rope Climbs
10 Toes to Bar
21 Overhead Walking Lunges #45/#25
400m Run
Time – 34:10 Rx

Shit.

Well, shit.

Thurs. Sept. 1

For Time: 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1:
Pullups
Box Jump 24/20
Kettlebell Swing 2/1.5  16kg

Time – ummm…. wish I could remember!

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Kanji was back this week 🙂  I’m trying not to totally love this little guy, but it’s pretty hard since he’s so awesome.  So nice to have a reason to get back outside for long walks along the trails where I spent so much of last summer…  and another reason to look forward to fall when the bugs will go back to hell where they belong.  tank eat

True story.  Actually it’s the thought process that often gets me through the toughest of WODs.  “Just make it through and breakfast will follow!”  I don’t really want to talk about food today.  I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “WTF?!” and I’d rather be at Ribfest with my girl than sitting at my desk munching on lettuce.

 

on the fence

Over-eposed?  What can I say… This is me.

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Over the next few days I will, in a sense, have all the time in the world to draft up some crazy sh*t completely free of WOD details.  Tuesday I got in to see Zaps (box vet/massage) in hopes that he could help me with the sore back thing.  He tortured me appropriately, as he always does, and suggested I make a chiro appointment cause he felt I had a rib out.  Taking care of injury is not usually something I’m very good at, but in consideration of the competition this Saturday, I took his advise and got in yesterday.  A possible rib out turned out to be 3!  Great.  When I do something, it’s never half-assed.  Injury is no different apparently.  Chiro put me back together, but strongly suggested I take the rest of the week off.  😦  Yup… that means no Nightmare of Mill Street this weekend for me possibly.  Total bummer.  But I’m old enough to know that giving in to Zaps’ offer to just tape me up like crazy and compete anyway is not the smartest option.  Been there, done that.  Still paying for some poor judgement calls I’ve made in the past.  Sigh.

Know what else “take the week off” means?  Other than the fact that my mind could quite literally implode without the box?  No first ball hockey game last night.  Double sigh.  That also ties in to my “on the fence” title of this post though.  I’m trying my best to chose the “just be happy with being strong as fawk and forget the rest” side, but I’m struggling to get over the changing seasons and having to wear pants again.  :p  Especially talking jeans.  Even the stretchy variety remind me I have a BUTT now.  And quads.  Large quads.  Strong… but still.

Made a decision yesterday that it was time to get the monkey off my back.  Broke the news to my mother that I intend on taking a year off from vacationing in Dominican this coming February.  “I just bought my place.  I want to get a year of home ownership under my belt before I spend that kind of money on a trip.” I told her.  Do you really believe that there wasn’t an ulterior motive there as well?  No?  Good.  You’re catching on.  Do I want to lean on this excuse as a way around the judgement and pressure that bikini wearing brings?  Especially with my mother around?  Bingo.  Maybe I should just go by myself and find comfort in the fact that I don’t know anyone else on the beach.  Or find some crossfit friends to rope in to going.  Just not the skinny ones.  That would be counter-productive.

The WORST thing I ever did for/to myself was get down to a size 2.  Sure, I was tiny.  Sure, I actually for once in my life enjoyed shopping for pants/shorts/bikinis.  Wearing them too!  Like, in public.  Sure, I actually received lots of praise and support from her Royal Highness (my mother).  But was I happier even then?  Nope.  Skinny doesn’t miraculously make a person happy.  Was I healthier?  Nope.  I obsessed over controlling my diet to such an extreme that my relationship suffered.  I put unintentional and unnecessary pressure on the one person I loved more than anyone, all for the sake of getting smaller.  It was selfish, but life has thrown me so many things that are out of my control that I fell for the belief that diet was the one thing I could.  Sure I was eating good food, but still my MS symptoms were rough.  Guess what?  That put even more strain on all aspects of life.  It was not a period of my life that I look back on and wish I could revisit, yet my mind still hangs on the fact that: I was a size 2.

Yes, I’m still rambling about the same old shit.  Maybe one day I’ll actually get over it.  A friend made a comment the other day that I look great.  Fit and healthy.  Maybe one day I’ll see it……

letgo

recharged

I’m baaaack 🙂  where to begin…

My week of soaking up the sunshine in the Dominican was exactly what this kid needed after the craziness of the Christmas season in retail and all the other work-related stresses that have been thrown my way thus far in 2014.  We couldn’t have asked for better weather!  7 days of sunny skies and the thermostat hovering around 29 degrees celsius, before the humidex.  🙂  This was the first time I’ve gone on vacation since switching from the daily MS injections and man was it nice to not have to explain the pack of needles stashed in my carry-on!  I did manage somehow to set off the metal detector in the Dominican airport coming home though and got patted down quite thoroughly.  Also met a Dominican at the swim up bar who was determined to grab my hand and stare longingly into my eyes at every chance he got.  Mom told him I had a boyfriend.  Guess in some cases it is better to tell a lie…

Riu Bachata, Puerto Plata D.R.

Riu Bachata, Puerto Plata D.R.

It was a week of relaxation and good food, but I also did find the resources to enjoy a little exercise as well.  The morning we flew out of Toronto, of course I had to check the CF Division website to see what the WOD was.  :p  OCD?  maybe.  It was Grace.  Not all that often that we get to measure our progress with one of the “ladies”, so I decided that one of my vacational conquests would be to do the WOD in paradise.  Lucky for me the hotel had a gym!  It was nothing special, but it did the trick.

Dominican GRACE 3:31  #75

Dominican GRACE 3:31 #75

No PR set with this one, and I got some looks from the others using the little gym when I’d set the non-bumper weights down with anything less than grace, but I was happy with the result 🙂  Also worked on pistol squats on the beach 🙂 but the pics of that will have to wait.  Landed my butt in the sand quite a few times, but made progress over the week.

The resort was nestled into its own private little cove that had a nice 2km ish boardwalk along the ocean that provided the perfect path for morning runs.  My mom being the run-fanatic that she is, was more than happy to lace up the runners several times during our vacation too.  As suggested by Coach Dave on the last WOD before I left, I spent some time working on my handstand holds too.  My goal had been to practice on the beach and get a pic of handstanding against a palm tree, but that goal will have to wait until the next Caribbean adventure.  :p  Against the wall in the hotel room is one thing, but I’m still a bit of a chicken.

dr2014 2

The food at the resort was fantastic!!  Even with my goal to remain as loyal to my Paleo lifestyle as possible, I was still able to find tons of great options to eat.  The fish was incredible, which is something I very rarely make for myself at home.  There was also often beef, pork or chicken “fajita” stir fry with onions and peppers that I popped on a bed of lettuce and topped with avocado.  It was so good!  Bonus in my mind, cause now I have some new ideas to try to add a little variety to my home cooking :p  Even with the great food and hours spent just lounging in the sun, I still lost weight while away.  I don’t get why that happens.  I mean, I ran some, lifted some, snorkeled some, but nowhere near the activity level I get at home?  Not that I’m complaining…

dr2014 1

My flight got in late afternoon yesterday and by the time I got home, it was nearly 8 pm.  Spent the morning sitting enjoying my Dominican coffee by the ocean in shorts and a tank top, boarded the plane, and spent the evening scraping more than a foot of snow off my car!  Back to reality!  Today being Wednesday, there was no 7:30am WOD, but you can bet I’ll be back at the box for tonight’s 6:30 class 😀  While I was away I didn’t miss home, didn’t miss work, certainly didn’t miss the Canadian winter, but I DID miss my crossfit family!  Can’t wait to get back into the routine of things when it comes to the box.  First day back will be a good challenge:

“Fight Gone Bad”
3 Rounds for max reps of:
1 min- Wallballs
1 min- SDHP 75/55
1 min- Box Jumps, 20″
1 min- Push Press 75/55
1 min- Row for calories
1 min Rest

I’ve done this one before, so I know the level of suck to look forward to, but I can’t wait to get back at it!!  🙂

picking up the slack

Lately I’ve been slacking!  Here’s a quick little “catch-up” session.

Tuesday January 28 was a double WOD day.  Went to try out a different box in the morning with a friend, then made it to my own for an evening class.  It felt great, but after all was said and done, I was SPENT!  :p  Thanks to the last pre-finale episode of The Biggest Loser being on, I managed to stay awake till 9:00 pm, but barely.

Checking out a different box was cool 🙂  The WOD was:

4 minute AMRAP:

– 15 hand-release push-ups

– 15 SDHP #65

rest 2 minutes, repeat.  First round, I got through 2 full rounds + 15 push-ups, 13 SDHP.  Round two, I completed 3 full rounds.  🙂  Rx weight kids!  Ok, so it wasn’t crazy, but I’ll take it.  Where things were a little different from what I’m used to here was the sumo deadlift high pull (SDHP) were done with a bar instead of a kettle bell.  More of a challenge to keep the bar steady!  I liked it.

Then the evening at CF Division was full of Coach Dave and his little “treats”.

burpees now

100 Burpees for time –
Every minute on the minute complete 8- Toes to Bar
Start with burpees.

Time: 8:59

Part 2 – back squats,  spend 10-15 minutes to work up to a HEAVY 1 rep.  #155

Part 3 – 60 second AMRAP: back squats  #95   result – 17

This one went on forever it seemed :p  Part 1 I had interpreted as complete the 100 burpees, then the OTM begins.  WRONG.  The first 60 seconds was like a burpee head start to get in as many as possible before your first toes to bar.  Then it was all about racking up the burpee count as quickly as possible to avoid doing endless rounds.  I cranked out 28 in the first minute, then worked to find a pace that I could maintain to get it done.  Made it through 6 rounds on the bar before scaling the toes to bar (which had turned to knees to elbows) to sit-ups when I was only able to get about 5 burpees in per round.  My lungs were on fire!  But I loved it :p

Wednesday was a rest day.  Also another of the hungry, hungry hippo days.  BUT, I have to give a big 2 thumbs up to the Zone!  Two weeks ago I was kinda dreading slipping into my bikini, but my hard work is paying off 🙂

Thursday January 30 I crammed 1,000 things into my day off from Henry’s including the 6am WOD:

imagesCA3MN942

AMRAP 3 Minutes:
10- Thrusters, #95/#65   #55
10- Pullups  black band 🙂
Rest :30
AMRAP 3 Mintues:
10- Power Cleans, #95/#65   #55
10- Burpees
Rest :30
AMRAP 3 MInutes:
10- Jerks, #95/#65   #55
10- Box Jumps

Rounds+reps = 2+10, 2+10, 2+5

Box jumps were great.  Even did a few 24″ ones after the WOD just to prove to myself that I can. WITHOUT #boxeatsshinsforbreakfast 😀

 

Friday January 31, back to my normal 7:30am WOD:

wallballs

Part 1. 100- Wallballs in the least amount of sets and for time.. as per requested by C.F.! ;)

Result: 4:50 (I think!) w/4 sets of 25 reps

Part 2. OTM x 12 Minutes

Odd Minutes: 1- Power Snatch + 1- Squat Snatch    #55

Even Minutes: 4- Back Squats   #105

Accomplished another of one of the goals on my list today 🙂  Snatch a whole WOD with weight on the bar — CHECK!  Only landed on my BUTT 3 times during the warm-up trying to get the squat snatch to happen, but BOO-YA!!  There was some serious progress today!  Nailed the power snatch too with only a slight “pulling early” comment from Coach Sharon 🙂

Off topic, but always on my mind… I’ve been craving steak lately.  Without reprieve.  Even my fav. chicken dishes haven’t made the craving subside at ALL.  Weird.  The only thoughts that are keeping me from a trip to The Keg for a nice Sirloin are a: I’d look a bit odd out for dinner with just myself, and b: a good steak is BIG $$$.  My plan was to get like a 10oz and cut it in 4 so I’d at least get a bunch of meals out of it.  Still might happen.  Or I might sucker one of my staff into firing up the bbq 🙂

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