one day it'll all make sense.

Posts tagged ‘wellness’

give and take

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I wasn’t sure this would ever be a world where I belonged again.  I’ll throw this disclaimer in right away – this is not at all instead of crossfit. And certainly not an attempt to replace CFD in my life. It has been my life for 2 1/2 years, my family… and I have no need or desire to change that. I’m just at a point where I want to supplement with more running and I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to the track.  Plus the people watching in an actual gym environment is top notch!

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Friday we had a potluck lunch going away party for Yuko 🙂 there were balloons and party hats and a crap load of dog treats and all kinds of people food too 🙂 I brought sweet potato brownies. Shocking, I know lol, but everyone always loves them! I’m getting just as bad as my mom when it comes to bringing the same thing to every social event. At least I come by it honestly, and no one ever complains.

Thursday night I finally cracked. I’ve been rock solid the whole way through, and still stick to my joy in knowing what an amazing dog I’ve raised and what a life changing experience he’s going to be for someone, but I started thinking about Tuesday and fell apart. Being really tired probably didn’t work to my advantage too. I still don’t know how I’m going to hand over his leash and just walk away, but at least I can think about it now without crying. Well, pretty much… almost…

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So far, so good :)

Whole Life Challenge – First week DONE

so far, so good 🙂 notes from the week:

  • I no longer think about gum every minute I’m awake
  • I think I’m finally sleeping better after a rough first few days. Although this likely had nothing to do with the WLC and everything to do with work stress.
  • Oatmeal is back in my life 🙂 it makes me feel a bit nauseous, but I’m not giving up. That will hopefully go away!
  • I do still crave a chocolate chip cookie dough Quest bar pretty much daily, and I do still eat more watermelon than is likely recommended, but I haven’t caved to the first and I’m accepting the second. It will be out of season soon enough and I’ll have to move on…
  • Made a whole chicken in the crockpot this week.  If you haven’t tried that, I recommend it highly! So good!! And easy too 😉
  • pinterest has joined YouTube on the list of not pre-work activities. Friday I went looking for something to do with the 4 zucchini in my fridge and after 20 minutes pulled myself away with 100 treat ideas swimming through my head, 3 DIY ideas for my condo, and nearly convinced I need to work on my muffin top. I was almost late for work, and I have no new ideas for the zucchini.
  • this week’s lifestyle challenge is 10 minutes of meditation. It started rough, but once I learned there are lots of guided meditation videos on YouTube, it got easier 🙂 What hasn’t gotten easier is 10 minutes of mobilization. Especially when I don’t get it in at the box! As soon as I lay on the floor at home, Yuko wants to help. Ever tried stretching with a dog sneaking up to lick your face every chance he got? My favourite moment was the attempt to turn away is when I realized he was standing on my hair! Well played Yuko 😉
View from the floor

View from the floor

Living the Whole Life

www.wholelifechallenge.com

                   www.wholelifechallenge.com

Sat. Sept. 19:

Today starts a new mission. The Whole Life Challenge. At first I wasn’t sure I had any desire to try this, but I liked the idea that for once I may have found something that inspires me to find a beimagetter frame of mind rather than just a new way of eating. That’s my biggest challenge. While, yes I could use to lose some of the extra weight and poor eating habits I fall into at times (like chocolate has been my best friend way too many times recently) but food has had control over me for too long.  Funny part of that, my thought has been for some time now that when it comes to living with MS, diet was the one thing I could use to make my life better. Food was the one thing I had control over. IN a way this was true, but at the same time so incredibly wrong. Food has control over ME. Anyways, if I’m going to do this I figured I better be prepared!  Solid grocery shop happened Friday, as well as my last piece of gum 😦  Just like Whole 30, I know the gum thing will be tough but I’ll get over it.  Cooked a huge batch of Teriyaki zucchini noodle stir fry too!  So easy and so good.  And yes it’s legit 😉 none of the store-bought sauce, just a combo of sesame oil, rice vinegar, coconut aminos, ginger and garlic.image

Day 1 in the books.  The weekly lifestyle challenge is 10 minutes of meditation which I’m choosing to interpret the term loosely.  Time spent wandering in the woods with my boy is all the meditation I need 😉  10 minutes spent stretching  on the other hand was a bit of a challenge.  Yuko was thrilled to see me laying on the floor!  Any opportunity he attempted to climb in my lap, step on my hair, stick his tongue in my ear (NOT a fan!) LOL!  But I made it through what seemed like a looooong 10 minutes anyway.

And I thought about gum all day…

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I’ve come to terms

Ok, I’m officially tired of being hungry all the time.  I can’t be alone here.  This week I’ve spent 3% of my time sweating my tail off at the box, another 5% trail walking or running with Yuko, 33% working, 27% sleeping and about 99% of the not sleeping time HUNGRY.  It’s stupid.  I’m not on a restrictive diet or cleanse.  I’m not eating crap.  Just always hungry.  This being said, it’s potentially about to get a lot worse.  Why?  Cause seeing as I’m clearly in calculation mode today, I came to the realization that my love affair with Kraft All Natural peanut butter is not helping me fit into my fall-is-coming clothing.  I love it so much… but pack your things PB, we’re through.  Note- if you’re wondering how the hell I got into eating this shit, there was possibly some moment of starvation where I realized the all natural PB I was buying to stuff Yuko’s Kong toys with wouldn’t kill me to have a little… Shit rolled down hill.  Fast.

Saturdays are non-WOD days typically for me, so Yuko and I headed to the trail for a short run this morning 🙂  It was bright and quite cool at 7:15am and the trail was empty.  Perfect 🙂

yuko run

Post WOD yesterday when the group headed out for our little 1 mile flush, I was pleasantly surprised to notice how easy the uphill trot to Northfield felt.  My hill runs are paying off 🙂  The pooped out puppy currently napping at my feet would suggest they are paying off for him as well.  Actually, a customer made a comment the other day that hurt my heart a little.  “He looks so bored!” he mentioned when noticing the cute bundle of fur curled up and napping beside my behind the sales counter.  “He’s not bored, he gets a LOT of exercise!  He’s just tired” was my response.  It’s true!  I also asked the customer if he had a dog.  When he said yes, I asked where he was… “at home.” was his response.  And my dog is bored?  Another of the things this experience has taught me – people often don’t really think before they speak.

Tomorrow is the MS Bike Tour in Niagara.  The 75km trek I participated in for several years, but haven’t in a few.  The reminder emails I’ve received this week have brought back a bunch of memories 🙂  There was the time I felt like a total badass after passing a whole line of cycling club riders only to have the whole line return the favour a few minutes later by bowing past us like we were standing still.  Or the dude saying “I hope you girls are ready for the big hill ahead!” referring to the bump in the road to get up on the overpass.  Aparently he didn’t notice we were on mountain bikes.  LOL!  While I have no question in my mind of whether or not I could still do the ride (even though I haven’t so much as sat on my bike once this year!) it’s just not something I have any interest in doing anymore.  You know when you do something as much to share the experience with someone else as to experience it yourself?  This was one of those things, but the memories will last a life time.

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finding balance

#makeothersbetter is just all around awesome.  Helping someone else makes their life better, and feels fantastic too.  Well, what about when it starts interfering with your life?  My mission to do something to help improve the life of someone else is Yuko.  Raising a puppy involves a HUGE commitment of time, energy, patience and love.  The first 3 have been easy.  I had the time and energy and was ready for a new challenge.  The patience has been a great opportunity to learn to forgive the little accidents and celebrate the little victories.  Love was a challenge, and I think still is.  My heart has not been ready for the vulnerability that comes with loving someone or something for a few years but Yuko is teaching me that it’s ok to love something so long as you remember you’re on borrowed time.  His recall will be super hard, I don’t have any question of that, but I’m already trying to paint a picture in my mind of what a wonderful aid this little man will be for someone who really needs him.

Any-who, that’s my #makeothersbetter mission.  I have no regrets and no desire to go back on my choices.  So what’s the problem?  Is it possible to love two things at the same time without conflict between them?  I’m going through a battle in my mind this week cause there are new stress factors at crossfit in regards to Yuko.  A new dog policy was introduced a few weeks ago, which I totally understand the intention behind in terms of keeping everyone safe and setting some standards for all dogs that visit the box.  I’ve always tried to be courteous and considerate of others when it comes to my dog, and with the new rules I’ve been compliant in every way.  The only issue I’m running in to is sometimes near the end of a WOD Yuko gets bored and barks a bit.  Just a little though… he’s been pretty accepting of his new limitations otherwise.  But sometimes I wonder if it’s stressing me out more than I need right now.  Running my store during the second busiest time of the year with a minimal management team is enough to keep my plate full.  I made the first schedule error I’ve made in 10 years last Friday and scheduled both Ryan and myself to close.  Got a text at 10:05 asking if a key holder was coming in to open the doors!!  Oops!!  I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but I’ve found myself considering putting my crossfit membership on hold for a few months.  I mean, I’m not suggesting I would just stop exercising, cause I’d totally lose my marbles, but since Yuko and I have started running together I’m sure there’s other ways to hold onto my sanity…

Another mind fawk right now – I’ve been seeing the osteopath for the nerve pain in my leg.  The first time I saw her, I got a little bit excited when she said “I can help you.” very matter-of-fact.  It’s been such a long time since anyone has said that, how could I not?!  But recently she threw me off guard a bit.  I mean, everyone is entitled to their opinion, after all that’s really all my blog IS – my opinion, but the almost mocking tone which she presented it stung a bit.  Basically put, she doesn’t really believe MS is a real thing.  The joking use of air quotes when she mentions “lesions” or “diagnosis” I’m still unsure how to process.  I mean, in one sense if she’s right and my issues can be fixed, then great!  But I’ve lived more than 10 years with a long list of doctors telling me my annual MRI’s and a whole laundry list of other tests have told me that this sh*t is real.  I don’t know what to think.

So with 1,000 things swirling around in my head what do I do?  I run…

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free time, redirected

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I now have 2 favorite places.  The box, and here.  The time I used to devote every couple of days to rambling on, has now been offered to spending time wandering along with my awesome pup.  We’ve recently stepped things up a little and started running sections of the trail too.  Mostly the down-hill and flatter parts at this point, but give it time…  I’ll run the whole 7km ish loop one day.  Hope everyone is having a great summer 😀

Don’t worry, I haven’t derailed my crossfit addiction.

step up

I need to vent for a minute.  I agree that everyone is different and the only person I am responsible for is myself.  If you want to cheat on your diet, or cheat reps in a WOD that’s up to you.  It’s generally none of my business.  There’s an exception to that.  When you join our Whole30 discussion group and post a pic of a chocolate skor cluster with a comment “is this Whole30? hehe!” it becomes my concern.  This might not have bothered me all that much if you hadn’t been my partner for Murph and cheated a rep or two off every round.  And if I wasn’t already waking up thinking about chocolate I may have cut you a little more slack too.  But listen, it’s not my job to count your reps for you, but when trying to transition smooth and efficient, counting reps is the way to go.  When my usual WOD buddy doesn’t have to miss a WOD for an exam, we are seamless.  So while yes, you are only cheating yourself in the end… don’t try to drag me down with you!  I’m committed and hard-working.  Get with the program.

Sat. Apr. 18:

Ok, I probably shouldn’t be blogging about today at all considering I called in sick.  I never call in sick, but after a 4th night of not sleeping much I felt justified.  PLUS the mobility workshop going on at CFD seemed like something I really needed.  As for the WOD first, maybe not so much… but I was there, so… yeah.

unknown-1Ahh… Murph.  Done as a partner WOD today thankfully!  Cause had it been solo I might have said “eff this!!” during either of the runs.  It was a beautiful sunny day, but heading up the hill to the turnaround point was running head first in a wind tunnel lol!  Maddy and I paired up and decided to split the middle chunk in to rounds of Cindy.  Good plan I think 🙂  Kept us moving at a steady pace the whole time, although I have no idea what our end time was.

Fri. Apr. 17:

So much for the chiro miracle I had hoped for.  Day 3 running on very little sleep.  Day 3 getting out of bed at 3-something cause I just couldn’t get comfortable enough to hope for more sleep.  As soon as I got up and got moving around, the back feels fine.  Arg.

4 Sets:
1 Power Clean+ 2 Front Squat + 2 Jerk Complex

*Increase loading for each set*

75 / 85 / 95 / 100

Got up to #100, but my clean was ugly, squatted easy-peasy, then failed the jerk.  Shook it off and tried again.  This time failed the clean!  Again, and again…  Took me a few attempts, but I finally completed the complex at #100.  Same weight as last Friday…  that’s not the point of this exercise but running on fumes I decided to be ok with that.  Also didn’t want to really mess up whatever is going on with my back.

Thurs. Apr. 16:

Team 10k Row
*Teams of 3, switching every 250m*
*Every 5 Minutes, perform 3 plate pushes (1Each)*

Time – 48:47

Sweet jeezuz this was rough!  Learned my lesson when I took the bait of Greg encouraging me to row harder to reach 5800 meters before the 5 minute plate push.  I switched gears and rowed HARD.  Then wanted to die for the next 10:00.  Noted.  I figured this one would take a while, but didn’t expect nearly 50 minutes.  Clearly, cause post-WOD I had to toss Yuko in the car, rush home to inhale some food (cause I was starving and kinda dizzy!) and book it to my chiro appointment.  Thank God I made that!  She cracked me like crazy!  Maybe I’ll be able to sleep properly again without being unable to breathe every time I move.  Not fun.

Wed. Apr. 15:

Pretty proud of my little man today 🙂 Who turned 3 months on Monday.  Yes, that is a thing.  I’ll only have him till he’s a year, so we’re gonna celebrate.  Happy 1/4 birthday Yuko lol.  Back to today – first we got up early and headed to the track. It’s been quite some time since I’ve brought Yuko along, like the last time we were still at the point where I had to carry him up and down stairs and he really sucked at walking. Today we managed to run together (super-slow, but it’s a start!) for almost a whole lap!  Then we walked another, and he settled down and slept on my hoody while we went through a Rachel WOD creation. 5 rounds with a partner – jog 1/2 lap, sprint 1/2 lap, 10 burpees, 30 second plank hold, tag your partner.  Ok, I did sprint-ish.  The first 3 anyways. I’m disgruntled at how downhill my running capacity has slipped. Something to work on. And not the point of this story.

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After the track we headed to Yuko’s first day of puppy school 🙂 ok, I was a little nervous that he might poop in the classroom, but also excited to meet the rest of his litter 🙂  From the minute we walked into the centre he was a bit of a spaz, but there were dogs everywhere and lots of stuff to sniff. I had to pretty much tackle him so the vet could give his vaccines and he jiggled like a jumping bean on the scale.  Wish I new what his weight was when I got him, cause today was 10.5kg… Ever seen the movie Best In Show? The group of people which I share the “Y” litter with sort of reminded me of the movie.  An eclectic group, although all very nice. There was Yorkie and his stereotypical gay couple who have avoided any dog socialization up to this point as they were fearful that others may not have vaccinated their beasts. And I’m not making an assumption here, the more chatty of the pair threw in a “me and my husband” comment at one point that made hubby turn a bright shade of red. Then there was the French woman who got paired with Yvette. That doesn’t happen by accident, right?  There was also a young couple who had Yugo. Seriously? That was confusing when she kept saying his name and my little fur ball didn’t know what to think. I mean, I guess when you pick the letter “Y” for a litter, there are only so many options. One thing I did pick up from the little meet and greet while we all sat in the waiting room (the people sat, the dogs strained to sneak in a little play session) is that while I’m really pretty easy on Yuko in terms of demands, he’s really pretty awesome.  He settled in the chaos better than most. He doesn’t bark a lot, which many voiced as a concern. AND he’s the only of his litter who sleeps through the night! That’s lucky for him since we’ve had the pups 6 weeks now! He would have got the old “return to sender” ages ago.

image-1Yup.  That’s my boy.  Sure I’ll listen to you and “Sit”, but don’t expect my attention to be undivided.

 

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