Squat therapy

And I’m not even the hugging type.  But that’s a whole different story.

Where do I even begin?  Or more so, what do I even feel like sharing…

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

-Passenger

I’ve been riding a high for so long that I was honestly starting to think it was possible to continue that way forever.  I knew life was good, but I don’t think even realized just how good until I got knocked down.  I’m still hanging on to the hope that I will be able to stick it out without falling apart until Yuko learns to just co-operate at the box.  Some days are great, some days are awful but c’est la vie.

We’ve been doing a LOT of cardio WODs lately it seems, which is exactly what I need right now.  My clothes are fitting nicely again 🙂  Plus Yuko and are still getting out for a walk or run every day it’s not pouring raining.  Around 5km per day has been the therapy I’ve needed at times.  Like Tuesday.  My DM came in to visit, which struck me as totally weird right when she first mentioned she would be in.  We don’t often see anyone from head office.  I’ve always had a good relationship with her, so although I was a little suspicious I was also looking forward to the visit.  My store looks great and sales have been quite good lately.  Except my fears were right.  I got a write up.  Ouch.  I’m not a fan of HR and never have been even pre-Henry’s.  They pass judgement without searching out both sides of any story.  Apparently an “exit interview” was done when we terminated my ex-assistant and he made some allegations.  Lie #1 – I spend too much time in the office on Facebook.  Ok – I am the anti-Facebook.  I was prepared to close my account after I moved from Etobicoke, but I stuck with it cause my CFD people have a group.  Only time I go on is to post pictures from the box, and that’s never on my ghetto work PC.  Lie #2 – I don’t let the staff have any fun.  I’m sorry if it seems unfair when I ask people to please lower the volume on their conversations when congregated near another staff member speaking with a customer on the phone.  Also not a huge fan of drawn out Snap Chat conversations while on the sales floor.  Further emphasis to my opinion that social media is harmful to relationships/friendships/family etc.  The part that bugs me the most is reflecting back to the looooong list of people I’ve worked with/for over the years.  I actually like my job.  I’m actually proud of the company I work for and the position I hold.  I’m one of the few people who still exist who actually give a damn.  But I’m getting a write-up.

So Tuesday morning’s WOD was great.  Then the shit hit the fan.  Then Wednesday is a rest day.  So TODAY I couldn’t wait to go sweat out anger/hurt feelings.  Today was a day that I would have attacked any WOD just cause I needed it so bad.  Good thing I guess, cause today’s WOD was brutal.

Thurs. July 16:

“Helton”
3 Rounds:
800 Meter Run
30 Dumbbell Squat Cleans (50’s/30’s)  20’s
30 Burpees

Time – 31:42

You know it’s wicked when the burpees are the “rest” portion.  That was the case today.  This was the kind of WOD that drags you right down to rock bottom, then pushes you to fight your way back up. Fitting for the emotional train wreck I’ve been for the last day and a half.  I probably should figure out a new solution for dinner though.  Most days it seems I get a good breakfast and lunch, then hopefully a snack before heading to the trail after work with the dog.  By the time I get home it’s too late for dinner and by morning I’m pretty hungry but I won’t eat before a WOD.  Could explain why I had to drag myself around the box (2x) for the final 800m…

Tues. July 14:

50 – 40 – 30 – 20 – 10 Reps:

Double-Unders
Abmat Sit-Ups
200 Meter Run after each round.

I’m typing this on Thurs.  My abs still hurt.  A scaling option for the double unders was lower reps at 10 – 8 – 6 – 4 – 2.  I definitely got the last 3 rounds, but the 10 & 8 probably had a bunch of questionable reps.

Mon. July 13:

Teams of 3
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Thrusters
50 Reps (95/65) #55
50 Reps (115/80) #65
Max Reps (135/95) #75
-3 Minute Rest-
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Hang Power Cleans
50 Reps (135/95)  #65
50 Reps (155/105)  #75
Max Reps (185/135)  #95
-3 Minute Rest-
AMRAP 7 Minutes: Deadlifts
50 Reps (185/135) #125
50 Reps (225/155)  #145
Max Reps (275/185)  #165

Max Reps – 18 / 17 / 42

finding balance

#makeothersbetter is just all around awesome.  Helping someone else makes their life better, and feels fantastic too.  Well, what about when it starts interfering with your life?  My mission to do something to help improve the life of someone else is Yuko.  Raising a puppy involves a HUGE commitment of time, energy, patience and love.  The first 3 have been easy.  I had the time and energy and was ready for a new challenge.  The patience has been a great opportunity to learn to forgive the little accidents and celebrate the little victories.  Love was a challenge, and I think still is.  My heart has not been ready for the vulnerability that comes with loving someone or something for a few years but Yuko is teaching me that it’s ok to love something so long as you remember you’re on borrowed time.  His recall will be super hard, I don’t have any question of that, but I’m already trying to paint a picture in my mind of what a wonderful aid this little man will be for someone who really needs him.

Any-who, that’s my #makeothersbetter mission.  I have no regrets and no desire to go back on my choices.  So what’s the problem?  Is it possible to love two things at the same time without conflict between them?  I’m going through a battle in my mind this week cause there are new stress factors at crossfit in regards to Yuko.  A new dog policy was introduced a few weeks ago, which I totally understand the intention behind in terms of keeping everyone safe and setting some standards for all dogs that visit the box.  I’ve always tried to be courteous and considerate of others when it comes to my dog, and with the new rules I’ve been compliant in every way.  The only issue I’m running in to is sometimes near the end of a WOD Yuko gets bored and barks a bit.  Just a little though… he’s been pretty accepting of his new limitations otherwise.  But sometimes I wonder if it’s stressing me out more than I need right now.  Running my store during the second busiest time of the year with a minimal management team is enough to keep my plate full.  I made the first schedule error I’ve made in 10 years last Friday and scheduled both Ryan and myself to close.  Got a text at 10:05 asking if a key holder was coming in to open the doors!!  Oops!!  I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but I’ve found myself considering putting my crossfit membership on hold for a few months.  I mean, I’m not suggesting I would just stop exercising, cause I’d totally lose my marbles, but since Yuko and I have started running together I’m sure there’s other ways to hold onto my sanity…

Another mind fawk right now – I’ve been seeing the osteopath for the nerve pain in my leg.  The first time I saw her, I got a little bit excited when she said “I can help you.” very matter-of-fact.  It’s been such a long time since anyone has said that, how could I not?!  But recently she threw me off guard a bit.  I mean, everyone is entitled to their opinion, after all that’s really all my blog IS – my opinion, but the almost mocking tone which she presented it stung a bit.  Basically put, she doesn’t really believe MS is a real thing.  The joking use of air quotes when she mentions “lesions” or “diagnosis” I’m still unsure how to process.  I mean, in one sense if she’s right and my issues can be fixed, then great!  But I’ve lived more than 10 years with a long list of doctors telling me my annual MRI’s and a whole laundry list of other tests have told me that this sh*t is real.  I don’t know what to think.

So with 1,000 things swirling around in my head what do I do?  I run…