one day it'll all make sense.

Archive for March, 2012


Eat your greens

So, I’ve been reading a LOT lately about all the benefits which can come from the “Paleo”  or “Primal Blueprint”  lifestyle.  This all stems from a friend’s post of a video which shares a seminar done by a Dr. Terry Kohl where she talks about how she was able to reverse some of her MS related symptoms through a change to her diet.  Check it out if you’d like:

This video got me rolling on my research quest.  I’ve spent some time at Chapters and found a LOT of books which support this belief that what we put into our bodies can help with disease.  Makes sense.  I’ve always been a strong believer that diet is the cause behind contracting certain ailments, so why would it not also work in the reverse?  Since gaining 50 lbs in 2006 and going through the process of regaining control of myself and my life, I’ve been very disciplined when it comes to nutrition and fitness.  I did shed the 50 lbs through hard work and dedication, and learned a lot more about myself along the way.  Yes, I had to cut out a lot of the bad food choices I was previously making, but I really don’t miss them!  At first the thought of this new “Paleo/Primal” mindset was strange to me cause it’s a bit of a polar opposite to what I used to be successful so far.  However, a lot of it makes sense too.

SO… I did some thinking, and I’m going to give it a try.  What’s 30 days really??  I actually started yesterday and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be.  A lot of people use this concept to lose weight, however that is NOT my goal at all!  There have been many cases where it has helped people with MS and Polycystic Ovarian syndrome, which I would really appreciate!  Exercise routines won’t change.  Just diet.  MORE – vegetables, healthy fats from nuts and oils, and lean proteins.  NO- breads or grains.  Only thing I refuse to leave behind is my Greek yogurt.  :-p  LOVE that stuff too much…

March 24-April 22.  1 day down…

Interesting reads:

Paleo diet and MS –

Primal Blueprint –

Happiness is…

I haven’t posted anything in a little while, but in my mind that is never a bad thing.  When things are not going well, I write a lot.  When life is good, I write very little.  Just a quick follow-up on my little theory… since putting the brakes on my latest prescription, Alesse, things have slowly returned back almost to normal.  You really do take your basic senses for granted until one is taken away…  While I can’t imagine losing my sight or hearing, losing my ability to taste really wasn’t much fun either.  I am SO grateful to be able to enjoy food again 🙂  I will say though, I’ve learned a very important lesson from this whole situation.  Never will I ignore what my body is telling me.  While a doctor can take a quick glance at your chart and dismiss your complaints, only you can tell when something doesn’t feel right.  I understand that MS is a complicated disease, with many unanswered challenges, but I’m not willing to accept that any and every symptom I present should be brushed off and blamed on it.  Enough bitching though.  I am feeling soooo much better than I was, and really in a great frame of mind 🙂  The weather has certainly helped with my happiness too.  It’s been so much like summer this week and I’ve been grateful for every second of it.  Being only March, and Canada, I’m sure it won’t stick around for too long…

More appointments on the horizon.  Somehow most MRI appointments I get seem to be at really strange times too.  Tomorrow I’ll be heading in to Brampton Civic for a 10:15pm scan 😮  That’s already past my bedtime by the time the test is scheduled to begin!  Haha.  Good thing I tend to sleep through these things anyway, and as long as I’m sure to make sure Ange has a coffee all should be fine.

follow up – my little experiment

A week since I stopped taking the new prescription and life has somewhat returned to normal 🙂  I’m sleeping much better, have my usual energy levels back and my ability to enjoy food even seems to be creeping its way back into my life.  Still dropping weight, but I’m sure that will correct itself soon as well.  Couldn’t be happier 🙂  Will be monitoring things for the next week or two with hopes that no further challenges will pop up.

Only concern now is, the new meds that I started weren’t just started for the heck of it.  Back for an MRI next week and a follow-up appointment with my specialist early in May.  While I’m sure he won’t be happy to hear that I backed out of his drug regiment, I’m also not really all that excited to try whatever else he comes up with…  C’est la vie I guess.  At least I will know from now on to make sure to ask the question about drug interactions and not accept anything the “it may be just your MS” crap.

testing a theory…

Ok, let’s back-track a little here, if I may…  February 21st I headed to Emerg complaining of sudden numbness of the right side of my face, head and arm as well as mild weakness and poor coordination on the same side.  I also mentioned my loss of taste sensation and extreme fatigue.  I shared with the ER doctor the list of medications I take regularly, as well as my medical history.  Once the MS label was slapped on, no further investigation followed.  Steroids were prescribed, which I declined at the time.  

By February 23rd I was feeling even worse.  Went to my GP and went through the same break down of the problems I was having.  Also mentioned that I had started a new drug on February 19th, and inquired as to whether or not that may be causing the symptoms.  Same result.  Sounds like it could be MS.  Seeing as my GP has known me since I was born… I went with his advice and filled the steroid script.  Side note – while some people cope well with the treatment, I go through hell.  :-p

SO… I toughed it out through the 12 days of steroids.  Dealt with the lack of sleep and fight to keep my eyes open driving to and from work.  (I know that sounds strange, but it’s just how I roll!)  Yet after it all, I have found really no relief.  On March 8th, I decided to exercise the powers of google and do some research.  When I googled the side effects associated with my new medication, guess what I found?!  Many of the problems I was running in to were listed as possible side effects for the drug!  ALSO, the long list of drugs which can interact negatively with this drug included Prednisone and Modafinyl.  While the Prednisone was newly prescribed as well, I’ve been taking Modafinyl all along.  

Long story short- to test my little theory, I have stopped taking the new prescription to see if things revert themselves back to normal.  This is maybe not the best case scenario, but it’s just a little experiment until my upcoming appointment with my specialist.  After just a few days, my energy level has improved quite a bit and I think my sense of taste has improved slightly as well.  IF my theory is correct, once again I find myself facing the frustration which comes along with doctors blaming every situation I find myself in as a possible new MS symptom.  Yet again I will beg the question: “why can’t we first treat it as though it’s not?”

random details

My memory sucks.  And I’m only 29.  I’ve become diligent over the last year to adopt the habit of creating myself lists for EVERYTHING.  Problem is, I forget so quickly sometimes that I grab a pen to add something to my list and have already forgotten what it was.  It’s frustrating, but all I can do is laugh about it 🙂 Well, and hope like hell the thought comes back to me at some point!

So, I’ve decided that creating posts on a tablet, instead of an actual computer, is not wise if you have a lot to say.  I haven’t posted a few times in which I have intended to recently because I type like crazy, but when I hit “publish” my tablet and I just sit there and stare at each other until I give up!  This time I’m putting down the effort in front of a computer, with hopes that I will have more success.

Last random dribble for now… Today is day two free from my long list of prescription pill-popping.  Have to say, I don’t feel even the slightest improvement in sense of taste or touch.  Still disgusted by even the smell of coffee.  My favorite foods and I are still taking a break from each other, as the incredible change in how they taste now and how I remember them is so drastic I can’t ignore it.  While two nights ago I actually managed to recover 9 hours worth of much-needed sleep, this morning I was WIDE awake at 4:00 again.  Maybe I just need to accept it, and alter my daily routine to fit this new “habit”?  Have a feeling this idea will be a tough sell with my girl though…  She’s more the stay up late, sleep late type 🙂

Bright note – yesterday felt like SPRING and I LOVED IT!!!


Yesterday was not one of my best.  The lack of sleep I’ve been getting over the last 10 nights was really starting to wear me down.  As per usual since starting this round of treatment, I was WIDE awake at 4 am.  Wide awake, staring at my bedroom ceiling in the dark while my mind was racing 1000 miles a minute thinking of all the things I could be doing.  I’ve learned that I can’t will myself back to sleep, so I got up.  By the time I had to leave home to drive to work, I was crashing already!  Literally had to smack myself on the way to keep my eyes open.  Just to make matters more complicated, yesterday was a gift certificate event at my store which left me standing out in the cold controlling traffic for the first hour of my shift.  And I don’t do cold.  :-p  Although I was really not feeling well, I toughed it out until 4:00, when I finally had to go home.  I was tired, anxious and annoyed easily.  Really didn’t want to snap on one of my staff, or a customer!

Anyways… that was just a little back info on where this part I’m about to share began.  While my drive to and from work every day is a long one, it’s also a time I use to think.  This can be dangerous at times, and some of my oh-so-brilliant ideas I would never share with anyone, but it can also be great.  Yesterday, during a time when my mind was over whelmed by everything it has been going through trying to maintain my composure through a tough run, I took the time to reflect.  When I was growing up, going through the typical challenges of being a teenage girl, my solid ground and best friend was my horse.  Fritz was a horse like no other for me.  We understood each other.  While he would jump the moon for me if I asked him to, he would also remind me he had expectations too.  He taught me patience, confidence and a good work ethic.  He was a very talented beast with a huge heart, but he wasn’t against refusing a jump or breaking stride if I wasn’t giving him the respect he deserved.  When my days with Fritz came to an end, it didn’t take me long to realize the special partnership we had formed was not one that I would easily recreate.  To this day, I have never found another Fritz, and am not sure I ever will.

While I had a very successful competition record with Fritz, it was the small things I will never forget.  While going through my moment of self pity yesterday on my drive home, I longed for just one of the long summer afternoons where I would head out to visit Fritz in the pasture.  I thought of climbing up to drape myself across his warm back while he grazed.  Burying my face in his soft coat, and soaking in a bit of his strength and calmness.  While my life has changed drastically since those long childhood days surrounded by horses, the memories are something I will always hold close for the times when I need them the most.  One day I may have the chance to involve those special animals in my life again…


Sleep deprivation is starting to destroy me…. had to fight myself to stay awake on my drive to work today.  Only 3 more days of Prednisone though.

Small victories

Played an hour of ball hockey last night after 3 weeks of a very minimal amount of physical activity whatsoever. Thankfully, despite my team having ZERO subs, it actually went better than I had expected. Plus after the game I felt somewhat rejuvenated 🙂 Maybe a result of the exercise I got last night, or maybe a result of actually getting a good night’s sleep once being prescribed Zopiclone to help me fight the bedtime jitters, today I can actually say I feel a bit better than I have been. Still having the problems with right side numbness and lack of sense of taste, but not as foggy headed. I’ll take it, one step at a time.

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