one day it'll all make sense.

Life is good

Life is good.  Like, been walking around with a big smile on my face for days kinda good.  This past Saturday I asked my girl to marry me.  Like, for real.  We’ve daydreamed together about our wedding for a long time and I was ready to finally work towards making it actually happen. ❤ A friend commented on Sunday out of the blue how much he admires our relationship.  He loves how much we obviously care about each other and the respect we both share.  There was more to his little speech but my not-so-rock-solid memory has misplaced it at the moment… Anyways, he made me smile cause it’s true 🙂  We can truly be ourselves together.  A couple of geeks who do silly things and laugh non-stop.  We both could spend the whole day cuddling and watching neflix and be perfectly happy.  We like adventures together but we also like the less exciting times too! Life is good. 😀

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Last weekend was a long weekend and for once we had no real plans, so what do you do when you have a whole 3 days to waste? Workout and make food!!  By Monday my pretty much everything hurt.  It was awesome!!

I’m going to talk food in a separate post, cause the workout recap is tedious and I can ramble on about food and nutrition for ages too.

Friday Sept 1 2017

HERO Friday – Brownwood Dallas 5
50 Burpees
then…
10 Wallballs
10 Shoulder to Overhead 65lbs
10 Pull-ups
10 Box Jumps
10 Sit-ups
5 Rounds
then…
800m Run
Time – 28:25 Rx

Well, this was a challenging one no question.  My cardio is horrible right now.  I’m disappointed in myself for letting it get so bad, but overall I feel better when I’m not squeezing runs in on top of my already busy life so I’ll survive I guess.  Except we’re competing in Festivus Games again in just over a month and I don’t want to totally suck.

Saturday Sept 2 2017

100 Air Squats
90 Double Unders
80 Jumping Pull-ups
70 Sit Ups
60 Push Ups
50 KB Sumo Deadlifts 32kg
40 DB Push Press 25lbs
30 Weighted DB Box Step Ups 25lbs
20 Burpees
10 Man Makers 25lbs

We did this one as a partner WOD, cause Saturday is partner WOD day.  Even split in half if was pretty rough! Can’t imagine doing it as individuals.

Sunday Sept 3 2017

1. STRENGTH – BACK SQUAT
8 Minutes to Build to a HEAVY 5 Reps 135lbs
7 Minutes to Build to a HEAVY 3 Reps 155lbs
6 Minutes to Build to a HEAVY 1 Rep 175lbs
2. OLYMPIC LIFTING – SPLIT JERK
EMOM, 12 Minutes
Complete 1 Split Jerk, adding weight each round
3. SKILLS (skipped today!)
4. CONDITIONING
800m Run
30 Cal Row
25 Burpees
20 Squat Clean 75lbs
5.BARBARA
20 Pull-ups
30 Push-ups
40 Sit-ups
50 Air Squats
5 Rounds

Ok, I was tired today.  Friday and Saturday flattened me a little… well the legs anyways.  Got chatting and missed the skills portion which I was relatively ok with since I really didn’t feel like 55 HSPU (or going upside down at all if I’m being honest).  I kinda fluffed Barbara as well.  Still got a good workout though! 😀 Sundays are so much fun and now that hoceky is done we can actually go to them.

Monday Sept 4 2017

Partner Workout – Run together, split all others as desired
400m Run
100 Front Rack Lunges 65lbs
50 Toes to Bar
100 Double Unders
50 Calorie Row (while partner holds plank)
100 Hang Power Cleans 65lbs
50 Burpees
100 Shoulder to Overhead 65lbs
50 Deadlifts 165lbs
400m Run
Time – 41:41 Rx

HOLY CRAP!!  But I’d totally do this one again.

 

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I have so much I want to write about that I don’t even know where to begin… a friend who was researching MS for her thesis a few years ago told me that many people with MS have a difficult time putting thoughts in “order”. Probably not the only thing that can cause this, but definitely something I’ve struggled with. But this post isn’t about that… this one is about food and health mostly and things that relate. I’ll try to keep on track 😉

Finally got in to see the new doctor on Friday.  Finally a doctor who was very thorough and ordered all the tests needed to figure out what’s going on.  Vainity plays a part for sure, but I also question WHY things are the way they are out of interest.  WHY when I exercise regularly and eat very clean am I still struggling with my weight? WHY with the same exercise routine and healthier eating than previously have I GAINED 45lbs in the last 5 years? “It’s probably muscle!” Is the lamest excuse I’ve heard over and over. Yes, I’ve definitely put on some muscle when going from a ball hockey 3x a week runner who lifted moderate weights from time to time to a crossfit junkie, but that really doesn’t explain the body fat %!! Wii Fit would tell me I’m obese again and get itself tossed off the balcony.

So the new doctor order so much blood work that the ladies at the clinic didn’t know what to do with themselves.  Best part was he went through it ALL with me and explained all the red highlights on my results.  My iron, vitamin D, B12, testosterone and cortisol are lower than he’d like to see.  My thyroid is fucky and my adrenals are waving the white flag. I take 5000IU of vitamin D religiously every day!  Increase it he said.  Also gave other recommendations to add/increase other vitamins/minerals and gave me prescriptions for T3 and DHEA.

Next he looked at the sample day of my diet that I sent him.  There was a bunch of red highlights here too! 😮 “You say you follow a ketogenic diet? There’s a LOT of sugar here” he said.  What?!? In fairness to myself, the sample day I sent him was two months ago and a lot has changed since then, but I was still shocked to hear that!! I could be causing my weight because I eat a little tomato sauce, some snap peas and a few baby carrots once or twice a week, and onions.  Not the onions!!!  The rest could go but the onions stay.  Besides, I’ve decided I’m going to try the supplements and the prescriptions before altering my diet any further.  If I change everything all at once, how do I know what works?  (Still fuming a bit… I sit beside my girl as she munches on a bag of chocolate things each night but I’m overweight cause I put onions in the BBQ veggie mix. Pffft)

I mentioned that a lot has changed since I sent my sample day to the doc.  I March of this year Amanda and I gave the exogenous ketones a try and were disappointed with our lack of success. We decided to give them another go and things have been better this time around. For me I think it all started when Jen addded me to the 60 hour fast group on Facebook.  I had tried the fast before but didn’t make it all the way through. This time I wasn’t entirely into it from the start either! Made it 20 hours and ate a little something which I initially saw as throwing in the towel, but actually shifted my mindset somehow! After that I completed the 60 hours and have since followed the intermittent fasting which a ketogenic diet is intended to accompany. I wake up, drink coffee with MTC oil, drink my ketones (slowly), and LOTS of water. When I’m hungry, I eat. During the week when I work all day and head to the box shortly after, there are days I don’t chew anything until 7:30-8pm.  Others I eat lunch and dinner.  I still don’t know what is the right method for ME, but it’s all a work in progress really… and in the first 10 days I lost 10lb! I haven’t been able to shed ANYTHING in forever, so it feels like something is going right.

In motion

Some days it just feels like I’m stuck going through the motions. Get up, get dressed, go to work… but I’m not in a job I want to continue going through the motions with right now. I mean, I like what I’m doing generally, but it’s not the career I see myself in. I had a good job.  One I worked really hard to earn but it was taken from me, so now I’m trying to figure out what’s next. Starting next week I’ve stepped down at Sport Chek to part time again and will start something new. I’m both nervous about it and pretty excited, so hopefully it can become what we’re hoping it will 🙂 Also will give me the opportunity to go back to school, which I’m really excited about!

Took the whole weekend off from crossfit after Friday’s WOD pretty much flattened Amanda and I. Went for a hike Saturday instead 🙂 and played ball hockey last night as usual. Well… kinda.  I played defence for the first time in a long time and enjoyed it! Lol! Also badly needed a good crockpot weekend to replenish our lunches stash.  Last week there was a drought in that regard and the freezer needed to be restocked! After both crocks running Saturday making chicken curry and again Sunday with chili and a beef/vegetable mixture we’re good to go!

Friday July 14:

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Right up until the 3, 2, 1 GO!!! I didn’t want to do this one.  At all.  But once I got going it wasn’t that bad.  Got through the 15’s and 12’s and my mind calmed a little knowing the remaining rounds were less than 10 Reps each.  Sometimes it’s really just a head game to convince yourself to make it through.  I certainly wasn’t fast, but Rx on this one was a huge victory for me!! 90 pull-ups!? Yeeeah!  Thankfully my hands didn’t rip up the first set of 3, but the last set ended in bloody palms.  Hate that 😕 And another reason there was no WODs happening over the weekend! After a round of Krazy Glu to hold my wounds closed I survived the work day, but at night my hands were kinda angry.

 

 

Roll the dice

So the whole Wahls Protocol thing is still a series of trial and error events as I try to figure out what works for me and my effed up body. I was using my other blog as my diary in that process, but then I remembered that I shared that one with my dad when he was starting his own blog while going through chemo a few years ago. That takes all of the ambiguity out of it and makes me sensor everything I post. Defeats the purpose cause the journey isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  This week has felt like a looooong one, and it’s only Thursday 😳. Sunday I decided that this was going to be the week I cut out the coconut from my diet (cause A: why not and B: it’s one of the things I added when I started Wahls and started putting weight on) AND I’m cutting back on the number of WODs I do in a week. Still going to the box, just lifting instead of jacking my heart rate in a metcon.  I know it’s not ideal to make multiple changes at once when you are trying to determine what works and what doesn’t, but they serve kinda different purposes. The coconut is just purely cause I’m tired of gaining weight, while the lower intensity exercise is intended to test the whole “adrenal fatigue” theory. Yes I know that might also help avoid the weight issue which I’m obviously hoping for. I really had to come to terms with which was harder to live with in a mental-health kinda way… less of the thing I totally LOVE (crossfit) or being uncomfortable in my own skin 24/7.  Thankfully there are other things I love…

Feel free to check out now… work talk is boring but I need to write stuff down to process it in my own mind sometimes.

If I could win the lottery I could avoid the work stress. I’m between a rock and a hard place at the moment a bit cause there’s a job opportunity I really want to give a go at, but after being led to believe it was a full time thing we’ve determined it’s only part time for now. Plus… I really would like to go back to school for a few courses before giving it a go.  My options are:

  1. Talk to Sport Chek about stepping down to part time, giving up my health benefits and potential for a year end bonus, to work both jobs part time for now.
  2. Stay full time at Chek and hope that Brim is able to generate enough capital (without the help which I really feel it needs) to be able to support bringing me on full time in a few months.
  3. Walk away from the whole Brim situation that could be hugely beneficial in the long run for my whole family.

I’ve been tossing it around in my head like crazy and still don’t know what to do. I’m lucky that I have an incredibly supportive girlfriend who told me to go with my gut. I’ve gone through feelings of anger and disappointment in being pushed so hard to consider this for 3 months now only to learn it’s not what I was led to believe, but I’ve also seen the look on my dad’s face that told me everything I needed to know. He really does want to make this work. He believes it can and really needs some help to make it happen. He wants to have something to leave to my sisters and I and wants the ability to retire at some point with someone he trusts to pass the business along to. We had a discussion last week where I fought back tears cause he kept saying “no matter what, I don’t want this to ever cause issues between us”. I was still in the angry stage at that point cause I wanted to yell back “you don’t think it has already?! You sold me HARD on something you don’t have to sell!!!” But I bit my tongue. I do that a lot. Anyways, we left it as “I’m going to need some time to think” and that’s where I still find myself a week later. Sport Chek has been crazy with inventory and then the 500 online orders I put out this week and I haven’t really had a lot of time with my thoughts… but I’m leaning towards giving it a shot. I think I can do Mon-Wed-Fri at Chek and Tues-Thurs at Brim. I want to go back to school, which hopefully I can do part time as well. Mohawk college offers Fluid Power but I think it’s a full semester or possibly even 2 😳 (See!? Another reason for even a smaller lottery win so I can go to school). I want to make this work. Since leaving Henry’s Chek has been good to me, but it was never meant to be a long term solution and maybe this is what I’ve been looking for.  I feel I need to at least try 🙂

Just coast

Where do I begin… it’s been an interesting nearly 2 weeks of learning stuff. I’ve found the effects of nutrition and exercise fascinating for a long time, but I’m kinda diving into a whole different level that I didn’t even know existed. When I was still at CFD Coach Sharon used to tell me all the time that I was overtraining. I figured if that was he case, my body would let me know. Days where I was really sore or overly fatigued I’d take a rest day then jump right back into routine again. It seemed to work for me, so I carried on, but was that the start of the weight issues? I mean, I knew I was gaining weight then, but had no idea why. Could my restricted diet and excessive exercise be the reason? WTF!?!? Seriously!?!? I used to look at the badasses in the box like Coach Dave who trained pretty much non-stop and really didn’t think of my exercise routine as excessive, but I know now you have to take into account your own situation and listen to your body on a deeper level. It’s more than just sore muscles that suggest it’s time to assess things! A super clean eater who works out a lot should NOT be gaining body fat! That can be a sign that your body is in panic mode and fighting for survival.

So what’s the answer? That I’m not sure yet. I know I need to test out a month or more of lower intensity to see if this theory is right, but I haven’t gotten myself to the mental preparedness for that yet. Crossfit is my therapy and I’m scared to let it go.

Recap for the week.  Last weekend I was ready to throw in the towel on the Wahls Protocol diet.  Amanda and I had been following since may 1 and were/are frustrated that we’ve been GAINING weight! This diet is supposed to help reverse my MS symptoms, which is my #1 reason for giving it my all, but it’s also supposed to help you lose some body fat! If the weight loss didn’t happen, but the symptoms eased off, I’d be ok with that. But to GAIN weight just doesn’t fly with me! Already 10-15lbs heavier than I’d like to be! I commented in a Wahls protocol group on facebook that I’m giving up and explained myself.  A Wahls support person told me Don’t give up! You just need to play around with the diet a little till you find what works for you! Track your macros and make sure you aren’t getting more carbs in places you don’t realize.  Use the ketone test strips daily to make sure your body is in ketosis for now until you get the hang of it.  Ok, done.  What I learned (and actually Amanda got me on the scent of first) was that the giant salads we were eating every day could have been a factor.  The tighter my clothes felt, the more I relied on salad to slim me down.  But the salad dressing was the killer! Not even the expected store bought crap, but a homemade mixture of olive oil, garlic and balsamic vinegar.  WTF!? Anyways, we decided to cut that out and see what happens.  That was 7 days ago and within 4 days my pants didn’t feel as tight.  Ok, progress.  My ketone tests are also bringing a stronger indication that I’m on the right track.  I was sad to think salad wasn’t really an option, so last night I had one with a little squirt of lemon on it which wasn’t delicious but doable, and this morning’s test strip looked great 🙂  baby steps, but in the right direction I think 😀

Tues. June 6:

Scaled this one to 85lbs and cut the double unders in half, but kinda liked it otherwise 🙂 Monday we took a rest day, so I was ready to go by Tuesday night!

Wed. June 7:

A morning appointment with my dad (still trying to figure out the job change!) meant I was at the box for the 7am WOD.  When I got there at 6:50 and the 6am class wasn’t close to finishing I knew I wasn’t going to get to complete this one! The buy in was great 🙂 went with 145lbs, which isn’t 75-80% of my 1RM but felt heavy enough!! Beyond the 15/15/100m was another 2 rounds that I didn’t make it too 😦 but still got a good workout in!

Thurs. June 8 @ 6:30am:

This was actually mondays workout that I missed, but it sounded good enough to drag me back to the box early Thursday morning!  Wasn’t sure I’d make it to an evening WOD so it seemed the best option.  LOVED the buy in (obviously) with 195lbs.  Then I was excited to pull the 2 45lb plates off for the WOD.  I underestimated the wallballs lol, and failed my first attempt to clean the bar for the back squats, but otherwise this one was awesome 🙂

Thurs. June 8 @ 5pm:

125lb front squats = 125lb clean.  In my second WOD of the day? LMAO!! Went with 105lbs with more success than the morning.  The 15 Reps at 85lbs were a lot harder than I expected, but I was determined to not drop the bar anywhere in this workout so I sucked it up.  After all Friday was planned as a rest day…

just get it done :)

Yesterday I actually got excited about a WOD with double unders 🙂 it was a gross one and pretty heavy, and there were 30 chest to bar pull-ups but there was no way I wasn’t doing it Rx cause I knew I could. The pull-ups were probably entertaining to watch… all singles, all strict, with a little spazzy kick to get my chest to the bar. Lol! Last to finish by enough time for everyone else to put their bars away and stuff but I’m still pretty happy :p

Monday May 15, 2017

BUY IN – Bench Press
Complete 5 sets of 3 Reps starting at 75% 1RM, increase each round

95-100-105-110-115

WOD – 
200m Run
5 Chest to Bar Pull-ups
10 Power Cleans
15 Back Squats
20 Double Unders
200m Run
5 Power Cleans
10 Back Squats
15 Chest to Bar Pull-ups
20 Double Unders
200m Run
5 Back Squats
10 Chest to Bar Pull-ups
15 Power Cleans
20 Double Unders

Time – 13:43 Rx

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