one day it'll all make sense.

Finding my rhythm 

“So, this week has been different. I figured I’d ease into the transition of WODing less and lifting more,  but when Amanda decided she wanted to try to we sorta jumped in with both feet! The game plan was (and I think still is essentially) lift Monday and Wednesday with a Coach Carson, Tuesday by ourselves, then WOD Friday and Saturday. Except yesterday’s WOD didn’t sound great so we lifted Friday too! The only problem I see that could happen is I never used to cherry pick workouts. The WOD was the only option, so I just sucked it up and did it even when it sounded horrible. Now there’s another option 😳 I mean, we still got a great workout, but I haven’t really sweat yet this week and my Fitbit thinks I’ve maybe died or been kidnapped or something. There’s a huge positive note coming… Tuesday I PR’d my snatch!!! Finally after like 100 years!! 😁 AND my girl PR’d pretty much everything. Snatch, overhead squat, deadlift (200lb club!!), strict press, back squat… it’s been a great week.  Saturday partner WOD was a sweat fest, so nice way to round things off too.

 

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On the nutrition front, I’m trying to not fall into old habits in terms of mindset. When I change something and don’t see mad results after two weeks I tend to get discouraged… I don’t think my clothes are fitting any different and the number on the scale hasn’t really budged. I know there are other factors that could be affecting that (like being a GIRL), but my negativity still wants to trash talk my efforts. Anyways… I’m sticking to the plan and hoping I’m on the right path. My days are pretty routine for food:

Breakfast – 2 eggs, 1/3 sweet potato

Snack – beef protein shake, 1/4 cup oats+1 tbsp flax+1/2 tbsp chia+6 almonds+1/2 banana

Lunch – BBQ’d chicken breast, BBQ’d veggies

Snack – 1/2 chicken breast, 2 tbsp BBQ sauce, snap peas, carrots

Dinner – BBQ’d chicken breast or salmon, BBQ’d veggies

*sometimes there’s a second protein shake, or double oatmeal depending on the day/WOD. My one guilty pleasure is the BBQ sauce 😦 one days I might get over that but maybe not. Not much variety, but SO tasty and Amanda and I are both cool with it, so whatever. All works out to around 1,400 cals per day with 130-150g protein, 100-125g carbs, 40g fat. I’ve basically cut the fat in half and doubled the carbs. Now my fingers are crossed it’s the right recipe for my stupid body.

Now there’s a plan

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Let us back-track for a moment… 5 years ago I had just moved to Waterloo.  I had been living a pretty crazy life with a long drive to and from work every day and LOTS of ball hockey. Also quite committed to the global gym scene.  I had recently started the whole Paleo routine trying to fix some health crap. Oh! And I was skinny!! Not healthy necessarily despite all my efforts, but shopping for pants mad me happy for the first time in my life. Unfortunately that was the only thing really at time, but it was pretty huge. Life in Waterloo was a real change. I was 6km from my job, with an awesome gym in between. I had so much time on my hands I didn’t really know what to do with it at first, but I figured it out. Reconnected with an old friend from work who had gotten into personal training and started lifting. You probably know that drill… Monday leg day, Tuesday back and biceps, etc.  Pretty boring stuff, but I wanted to gain some muscle. Then one day I found crossfit. It was new for me, but brought the cardio element back to my world which I had been missing (Waterloo doesn’t offer the same ball hockey opportunities Toronto did!!). It was new, and scary, and exciting… and FUN!!  Downside… I slowly started to gain weight. At first I thought, all good its muscle. And in a sense I was right! But every season I was shopping for new clothes cause the old ones didn’t fit anymore. After a while I started to freak out a bit, so I tightened up my diet (which was pretty strictly Paleo already) and worked out more. But the weight kept creeping up. Could I have been going about things all wrong?! Fast forward to today and finally realizing that crossfit and Paleo could be responsible for my weight gain!! WTF!?!? I read this a few days ago which really got the ball rolling in my mind:

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I felt like this guy completely understood how I’ve felt!! I mean, I have a pretty decent 6-pack that I’ve worked really hard for, but there’s this layer of body fat covering everything.  I did a bit more reading and decided it was time for a change. I had already made the decision to give up nut butters, which at least had me in the right direction, but I’m increasing my carbs as well. After 5 years of quite a low carb intake, it might be just what my body needs? Or I might get fatter. I’m really hoping option A is reality.   There’s a part 2 to this rant. With dropping the fat content, my macros were in line with what Coach Jen had recommended at my nutrition consult, but my calories were still quite low.  So I asked! Explained my frustration and what I was looking for and got another response I hadn’t been expecting!  My focus had been set on adjusting the diet component once again, but Jen’s thoughts were along a different line.  Could crossfit be to blame?  Seriously??  So now it’s a matter of trying to determine wether my super-clean eating or intense workout routine is the reason I can’t shed a few pounds.  Not binge eating, or nights of drinking, or sitting on the couch… a clean diet or exercise.  What. The. FUCK.  Jen is also looking to lean out before a very important event in June, so she is readjusting her workout routine with the same goal in mind.  “We could lift together!  Misery loves company, right?” she said haha!  Anyways, her plan involves just lifting 3 times a week and cutting the WODs to 2 per week MAX.  They are great, but they cause stress on your body (says Jen) Some people handle stress by loosing weight, some bodies go into panic mode and store everything as fat!  So… sitting on the couch might actually be a more effective way to lose weight?  I don’t know… so confused.  What I DO know is crossfit keeps me sane and happy, so I’m making some adjustment to my workout routine for now but focusing more on the nutrition part.  Last night we went to Olympic lifting class instead of the WOD for the first time in ages 🙂  It’s kinda strange how I used to feel like I was ripping myself off from the sweatfest I needed and just went through the motions of the class without much enthusiasm.  Last night was so different!  I loved it 🙂  and Coach Carson is amazing!  The crossfit side of things will benefit SO much from working with him too.  Plus if I can actually lean out a little the gymnastic parts should improve as well.

Anyways… long rant.  I have always had a goal, but now I feel like I have a plan too.  Hopefully that’s the difference this time.  To be continued…

Chaotic

This post could be a chaotic one… just saying.  I’ve got a bunch of thoughts swimming around in my head and I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to put them all down quite yet. 🙂

Tomorrow a good-sized group from CFC are starting the Whole Life Challenge.  I considered it, but A: I’ve already done it.  Twice.  B: I can think of better ways to spend money right now.  C: Although I did seriously consider it, I just couldn’t see how it would create enough of an impact to make a difference.  I eat clean.  Other than the once a month pizza night cheat meal, I’d have to give up gum and spend more $$ on clean bacon.  Just not enough of a difference to make a difference.  Anywho… I’ve decided to give up nut butter for the duration of the challenge instead.  Cause as always, I’m not happy with my body and want to find whatever is making me carry around extra fat.  I mean, I have abs!  I can see them sometimes… like when I move or whatever.  But I want to just see them.  So maybe no nut butter will help.

I’m dealing with an MS relapse this week.  Not a bad one, but still not fun and in a totally new environment makes it challenging.  My Henry’s crew new me.  They new what was normal and how to help when things were rough.  So did my CFD crew.  This is a new experience with Amanda too and I’m really doing my best to communicate things with her and help her understand.  I know how it feels to be on the other side of things too where you just want to help but you have no idea how.  I read a post yesterday (while sitting on my butt with a warm Magic Bag draped over my legs) that described very well the communication challenges.  I shared the post with Amanda cause it seemed easier than trying to interpret my own version.  The author refers to MS as her sidekick.  It’s something that has an invisible but constant impact on your physical well-being and state of mind.  Yet no matter how long you’ve been living with this sidekick, it can still be quite challenging to decide how much to keep to yourself.  It’s also challenging cause when things are my normal I have no need to share anything, but when something comes up I mentally often don’t have the space in my mind to also take into consideration how to explain what I’m dealing with.  My mind is occupied with “Just get through this.  It will pass.”  I mentioned to Amanda yesterday, it’s a battle in my mind cause there can be a fine line between I don’t want you to feel like I’m shutting you out and I don’t want to get to the point where it’s like a broken record.  This week os thankfully not too bad.  I can still crossfit (although not quite at my usual intensity but it’s something!).  Coach Jason approached me after the WOD on Tuesday where I had scaled to a 75lb bar when I really wanted to try at least 95 and commented “is that YOUR bar?! You could have done heavier! 😉 ” Oh, trust me… it’s a tough enough mental battle to convince myself to be smart.  I did call in sick to work yesterday, which is hugely odd for me, but the pain in my legs has been pretty intense.  Ever had frostbite?  Know how it feels when your frozen bits start to warm up again?  Well, that painful burning sensation has moved in from just above my knees to my toes and doesn’t seem to want to leave quite yet.  Anyways, if it interests you here’s the post I read:

https://www.msconnection.org/Blog/October-2016/An-Inconvenient-Sidekick#

I had my weekly dose of puppy therapy on Wednesday 🙂  Pluto came to work with me and kept me smiling.  He’s actually the only reason I didn’t call in sick Wednesday too, but look at this kid?  How could I pass up the chance to chill with him?

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Amanda and I are starting a little side project together.  I’ve been hired to shoot at CFC (like, NOT for free!) and  my awesome girl wants to join the fun too!  When we shoot together I figured it wasn’t right to just put my signature on the photos so yesterday we came up with a name and logo 🙂  With the Open right around the corner, we’ll have plenty of opportunity to shoot too!

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focus forward

Haven’t been able to figure out where I wanted to go with this. 2016 is more than 2 weeks behind me now and I’m going to be totally one of those people and say “thank GOD it’s over!!”  Don’t get me wrong, it had some pretty awesome highlights, but one of the biggest shit storms my 34+ years has seen. I’m thankful though… I have an amazing girl who has been incredibly supportive ❤  Once Henry’s is officially in the rear view mirror I’ll have a chance to figure out what the next chapter is.

Another great form of therapy… CFC 🙂  Way too much has happened to get caught up completely, but last Friday’s WOD is worth recording.  I was a little sad when we we told Hero Fridays was taking a break till spring, but Open WOD Fridays are pretty awesome too!  Especially when the WODs are ones I’ve seen before.  Well, awesome in an “oh joy!!  I get to relive that horror!!” kind of way, but still!  I get to kick my old score in the butt too.  When I first say 14.3 I was 7 months in to Crossfit and managed to complete 95 reps.  I went in to round 2 excited to see how far I’ve come since then.  Didn’t disappoint myself at all.

Friday Jan. 13

Open WOD 14.3
AMRAP 8 Minutes:
10 Deadlifts #95
15 Box Jumps
15 Deadlifts #135
15 Box Jumps
20 Deadlifts #155
15 Box Jumps
25 Deadlifts #185
15 Box Jumps
30 Deadlifts #205
15 Box Jumps
35 Deadlifts #235
15 Box Jumps

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right for right now

So I’m pretty excited 🙂 When this week’s Open WOD was posted yesterday morning I knew I had a great chance of improving on my score from the last time. I think almost all Crossfit boxes are great in their own way, but each person needs to find one that best suits them. When I joined CFD, I needed the community above everything else and it gave me that. Also gave me a really solid foundation, but CFC has given me a push to be better and the timing is perfect.

Open WOD 16.2
On a 4 minute clock complete as many reps as possible:
25 Knee raises
50 Single unders
15 Squat cleans #55
If completed before 4 min, add 4 min and proceed to:
25 Knee raises
50 Single unders
13 Squat cleans #75
If completed before 4 min, add 4 min and proceed to:
25 Knee raises
50 Single unders
11 Squat cleans #95
If completed before 4 min, add 4 min and proceed to:
25 Knee raises
50 Single unders
9 Squat cleans #115
If completed before 4 min, add 4 min and proceed to:
25 Knee raises
50 Single unders
7 Squat cleans #135

Score – 423 reps

Last time, I got to the #115 squat cleans with TONS of time and couldn’t manage 1 rep. Same thing kinda happened again, only I made it through the 115 without any troubles and got stuck at the 7 at 135. I give myself a little credit here… 135 would have been a PR, and I’d already done 48 reps at that point. I started at the bar for a minute after several failed attempts and said “eff it!”  Stripped back down to 115 and completed the last 7 lifts. 🙂

I stood for a moment in the change room last night and caught a look at my reflection in the mirror. Something needs to change. I need to find a solution before I go crazy again. I work hard at my job now, to the point I’m pretty tired when I get home. Then most nights I change quick and head to the box to work really hard. I lift heavy, we do LOTS of metcons, I eat really clean… but I still have so much fat on top of all my could-be-hot muscle. Jen suggested months ago that I’m drastically under eating… I think I’m at the point where I’m actually going to take that in to consideration and add more to my routine. I AM tired a lot since starting at sport Chek again, but I figured my body just needed to get used to the labor-intensity. I also get home most days soooo hungry. So I’m going to give it a try…

Victory! :)

Life is messy right now. Stress level is pretty much off the charts thanks to Henrys, but that’s hopefully nearing the end. Sport Chek I’m so very grateful I kept in my back pocket for all these years cause I was only “unemployed” (ish) for a little more than 2 weeks before walking into a new full time role. Curiously enough, right back to the same store I was full time in before I first took the job at Henrys… but anyways, I’m happy to be working 🙂 On the hunt for what I want to be when I grow up still, but not bored and losing my mind. Having a job to do also put an end to my excessive WODing :p it was good therapy when I needed it, but as a friend mentioned “just think… soon you’ll need physio and you’ll be able to make friends there too!” Ha-ha.

Anyways… I’ve gone back to logging my WODs on paper cause I suck at this format lately and I got my girl into that habit too so I’m actually accountable there. However – I SMASHED my previous Grace PR and I’m pretty excited so that was worth sharing! I  recorded an Rx Grace time for the first time this year in May 9:53.  Yesterday I killed that one! 4:01 😀 and Grace wasn’t even technically a part of the WOD!

Mon. Nov. 28:

BUY IN – OTM, 8 min:
3 Back Squats

WOD –
4 min MAX Clean & Jerks #95 (30 reps)
– rest 1 min
3 min MAX Bar-hop Burpees (35 reps)
– rest 1 min
2 min MAX Back Squats (30 reps)
– rest 1 min
1 min MAX Toes to Bar (14 reps)

Score – 109

Happy Halloween :)

 

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Sat. Oct 29:

Pairs comp #2 in the books 🙂  When we first signed up for a Halloween comp and new costumes were a must, my first comment to Amanda was “I just want to wear a cape.”  LOL!!!  After a few weeks of trying to come up with something that was good and wouldn’t get in the way of working out, we settled.  No cape 😦 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael and Donatello took on Halloween Havoc at Crossfit Outlaw North.  Super fun day in a totally new environment with lots of great people!  I really give my girl some huge credit!  Just started crossfit in July and she’s a great WOD partner already 🙂  Trying to come up with some highlights from the comp… quote from Amanda “Made it through and no one barfed.  That’s a victory in itself!”  Touché!  Although, post WOD 1 that was questionable from my side.  Don’t know why rowing kicks my butt SO hard, but I kinda wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere after it was over.  Oh!  And in WOD 2 Amanda dropped the bar during a 115lb jerk attempt and I walked over all “I got your back!”, cleaned it, and put it back in the rack for another try.  Matched my current power clean PR without even thinking about it.  That’s some brain trickery I might try again sometime…  Definitely talk myself out of lifting more often than not when things get heavy.

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Halloween Havoc #crossfitoutlawnorth

WOD 1 – Fitness & Skill

AMRAP, 15 minutes:
 Row 500 meters
15 Pull-ups OR 30 Jumping Pull-ups

 Score – 5 Rounds + 57m  (2nd)

WOD 2 – Heavy Hitters

 10 minutes for both partners to establish MAX complex:
Front Squat + Jerk
*Bar comes from rack

 Score225 (120 K + 105 A)  (3rd)

WOD 3 – Hard, Fast, NO Cuddling

 8 Minute Power Clean Ladder:
30 Reps at 35, 55, 75, MAX reps at 95
*At 0:00, 3:00, 6:00 teams must perform 20 Sit-ups combined

Score – 111 Reps (3rd)

WOD 4 – One:One Sprint

 200m Sled Push #45
50 Deadlifts #105
50 Burpees over the Bar

Time – 5:42 (2nd)

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Made the podium again!  3rd this time and very narrowly edged out of 2nd.  The team that took first was solid!  They won every event 🙂  Another highlight was hearing one of the winners mention after the last workout that they were chasing our time!  And we only came 2nd in that one 9 seconds behind the leaders  🙂  Like anything, it’s nice to take inventory of the areas to work on for next time and from this experience heavier and faster are one the list.  In my opinion the most important parts of any partner comp are 80% communication and 20% badass… I think we’ve got both of those pretty much under control!  We didn’t really struggle in any of the workouts, but succeeding with a heavier 1RM for WOD 2 and moving through the deads and burpees faster in WOD 4 are goals for future comps together.  There will be many 🙂  Next year I’m wearing a cape.

**Only nutrition note from the day – pretty much ran on carbs until all 4 WODs were complete.  Half a sweet potato w/1 tbsp flax seed and some cinnamon for breakfast, a “Kind” bar after WOD 2 cause I needed some more fuel in the tank, and a few mouthfuls of butternut squash before WOD 4.  Then we crushed some chicken on the way home and had big veggie filled omelets for dinner.  Seemed to work!

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