one day it'll all make sense.

Posts tagged ‘support’


This is one of those posts I was torn on which blog to write it under… it follows the crossfit/nutrition path I often follow with this one, but will have a large amount of MS content as well.  Anyways, it’s happening after quite some time bouncing around in my head.

2017 seems to be a year of “Full Circle” with me.  What I originally saw as full circle in terms of going from working at Sport Chek in Milton in 2005 to Henry’s and right back to Sport Chek in Milton in 2016 wasn’t even the whole picture.  Before Chek I was a professional photographer, and now I’m getting back into that scene as well 🙂  Not the same format however, but once again shooting something I’m passionate about.  It’s a whole different game now though, but exciting none the less!

Another full circle journey is my attempt to improve my life with my disease through nutrition and exercise.  I’ll come back to the exercise topic in a minute, but for now lets talk nutrition.  In 2012 I stumbled upon this: Dr. Terry Wahls – Minding Your Mitochondria and I was curious.  In 2012 I wasn’t in a good place with my mind and my health and I needed to try something, so I gave it a shot.  Cut dairy and grains from my diet and figured that was enough and don’t get me wrong, it did make a difference!  I was able to eliminate a drug I was taking just to stay awake as my energy improved and combined with exercise and just being overall fed-up with conventional medicine and the downward spiral it seemed to cause in terms of my quality of life, I eventually eliminated drugs all together.  That’s where I stand now.  A little over a year drug-free, but I still deal with the effects of my disease every day and would like to see if I can take things further to improve that.  I’ve done some of my own research lately and learned that relapsing-remitting MS typically transitions into secondary-progressive over time.  My relapses have certainly tapered off, either through my own influence with diet and exercise or simply as a progression of the disease, but the pain is still something I live with 24/7.  It used to be occasionally almost unbearable in intensity, but now it gets to that point pretty much every week and some days I just sort of crack emotionally.  Not something I’m proud of, but some days I just can’t be strong anymore.  Bright side – I have a massively supportive girlfriend who will be there for me every step of the way.  I came home last week and Dr. Wahls’ book The Wahls Protocol was waiting for me on the counter 🙂  Inspiration take 2!  This book is absolutely awesome!  So many of the things she mentions have me staring wide-eyed like “oh my god!  That’s ME!”  And you know it’s true love when your girl says “I’d try liver if it will help you” ❤  Liver!  GAG!!!  I’m weird about the odd bits you find in a boneless-skinless chicken breast!  But if it helps with the pain, I’ll give it a try.

Another part of my spring re-vamp involves the crossfit routine.  I took Coach Jen’s advice a few months ago and scaled back the WODs while introducing some lifting days back into my world.  Between the Open and helping Amanda prepare for the Festivus comp, the whole WOD portion has been all but abandoned for longer than I would have liked.  I went to a class this week and cardio-struggled (as expected) and ball hockey has been harder than I’d like.  Coach Jay and I crossed paths after the WOD Thursday and he said “how was that?!  Been a LONG time since you’ve gone a class!”  Sad face.  It probably showed!  My legs were NOT happy with the box jumps or the wallballs, but at least the cleans were a piece of cake right?  Festivus is today, so starting Monday I hope to get back into the WOD routine so I can confidently call myself a legit crossfitter again!  Oh, and I’ve added a short run to my morning routine as well.  Hoping it all helps 🙂

just let it go

“You’ve got to just let it go… holding on to the anger or frustration will affect the rest of your workout, the rest of your day, your weekend…  Just let it go!” 

Words of wisdom from Coach Sharon this morning while I was beating myself up inside over not being able to lift the weight I had set out to do.  Another “feel the #boxlove” this morning.  Our coaches are awesome 🙂  Borrowed this from the CF Division website this morning:

“Our community is amazing”

We help each others. We support each others…. You are a CrossFitter, we understand you.

Nuff said.

Back to my rant.  Not every day can be a PR… Monday I had one of those days where the stars aligned and everything came together for me at the Box.  I squatted and pressed the weights I had set out to with ease.  Today was a totally different story.  While I did screw up the proper load by #10 to match week 2 of phase 1, I got “stuck in the hole” and had to drop the bar on the FIRST REP!  WTF??  I was mad :p but as usual, Sharon was right.  I dropped the load to #95 and got through 5 of 7 sets before we made the decision that I should abandon the back squats for the day and take some time to focus on stretching and strengthening my left hip flexor.  Still crushed the strict press (3 rounds @ #65, 4 @ #60) and switched out # 125 deadlifts for the front squats.  Not like I can’t load up again next week, so long as the hip flexor cooperates.

So the back squats can suck it.  :p

OH!  I didn’t post anything yesterday.  Maybe because my day was a bit messy in terms of schedule.  Went to my usual 7:30 at the Box.  We did an “easy flush” kind of workout (according to Coach Dave.  Not many seemed to agree with this claim though)  Which started with a 400m sled drag.  Rx for this bad boy was body weight.  Right.  How about #100?  I somehow managed to grind it through that load despite the wicked occasional jab in my hip.  Then we had a snatch sequence:

5 Sets across of: 1 Power Snatch + 1 Squat Snatch + 3 Overhead Squats

First round, I fell over with the overhead squat.  Then got my sh*t together and made it through, but with just the #35 bar.  Overhead squats suck.  Period.  And the snatch is still the unicorn which I will continue to long for a chance of riding. One day…

AND… it’s the Friday before Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.  The days of big family meals on such events drew to an end when my grandparents passed away, but still doing the dinner thing with my dad and sisters tomorrow night.  Think they are even coming out to my hood for a good Paleo feast a la Kate 🙂  Should be good times!  Still tossing around different ideas of what the heck I’m going to cook…  squash of course is a given.  (especially since I maybe couldn’t resist another trip to the pumpkin farm yesterday.  I’m an anti-hoarder… except when it comes to squash.  And brussels sprouts.  Sigh…)

kip it together

Ok, the title is so lame I had to use it.  It amazing I have friends!  haha

They say it’s all connected, and I feel like I’m learning how true this statement is more and more every day…

How does a blog post begin?  Today, it all started as a point form list of random thoughts that were swimming around in my mind begging to get out…  Luck is on my side when I am able to filter out the really off the wall sh*t before hitting “post” though.  Sitting on a patio in the sunshine, drinking from the hidden bottle of water I smuggled in to the coffee shop and munching carrots and celery sticks I clearly also snuck in, apparently unnoticed 😉  I was fair… I bought a coffee in exchange for the use of their patio.  Only lasted there for maybe an hour though.  Blogging on an iPad is awkward.  I need to get a keyboard…  Christmas is coming (sort of) I guess.

After two days of sitting in a van carting my sister and all here stuff out to her University apartment, I was eager to get back into my usual routine today.  In two days we drove 16+ hours but I don’t get to spend as much time with my sisters as I would like, so it was all good 🙂  Plus we had a gorgeous drive through Algonquin park 🙂 Although I was constantly on the lookout, didn’t see any moose.  I sat on my BUTT for two days straight, yet when I walked into my apartment last night just after 8… I was EXHAUSTED.  haha


Today’s WOD was a good one, heavy focus on technique with no time cap.  5 rounds, 6 reps each of dead lifts, hang clean, front squat, push press and back squat.  I felt like I was moving well today, although there was a little self-abuse with the first round of push press.  Bashed myself in the nose driving the bar up, and caught the bar a little too heavy on my collar bone on the way down.  The nose survived, got what looks like a big hickie on my sternal extremity though :p  I think that’s what ya call it…

I’m closer today than I was yesterday.  Today after the WOD, I spent 10 minutes working on one of my “GOATS”.  (still not sure the meaning behind that expression, but whatever)  Anyways, one of my GOATS.  AKA one of my weaknesses, there’s a loooong list, but today I attacked kipping pull-ups.  I didn’t succeed, but I was satisfied with the progress I DID make… and I sure won’t stop trying.  My hands hate me right now but I finally have a use for the freezer burned bag of corn I’ve been meaning to throw out…

OH!  Chatted with Dave after the WOD too and clarified my question of how do double unders relate to real life.  His answer was along the lines of “when you’re tired as fawk, but still need your mind to keep focused, you’ll understand.”  Gotcha!  The conversation continued from there into other areas of life where the appreciation for what goes on within the box will become more and more evident.  There is good reason behind why we do what we do.

Why do I crossfit is a question I’ve asked myself more than once… Or more so, what is it about this insanity that I find so appealing? A few reasons come to mind:

– in everyday life, one of the main things that holds me back from accomplishing all that I am capable of is my own self doubt.  I let my mind talk me out of trying things.  I face this shit in pretty much every WOD and push so far past that garbage that there really is no turning back.  Doing this over and over I hope will help me push past hesitations outside of the box as well…

– At CF Division I have found a group of people who share the my same appreciation that you have to put in hard ass work to see results.  It’s a great group of people who encourage and support each other and don’t descriminate if you aren’t lifting Rx, jumping as high, running as fast, etc.  Fitness gives this high that makes it hugely enjoyable and somewhat addictive. I’m going to throw another quote in here, but will leave the author anonymous on this one.

I get OFF on this shit!!

After dragging myself out the door for the 7:30am CF class, I had the whole last day of my mini vacation to get my world ready for another work week.  Cooked, cleaned, etc.  Prepped my fridge for on the go food…  don’t want to have a repeat of this morning’s pre-crossfit breakfast.  Munched the egg, then dashed out the door with the sweet potato slice and homemade breakfast sausage in my hand.  Classy girl, I am not…


lost, but finding

“Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.”  Alysha Speer

Today I got “lost”.  I don’t even know how to rationalize with myself how or why it happened :p  My alarm went off at 6:00 (yes, I actually sleep until my alarm now!  odd in itself…) I got up, went through my usual morning routine, then standing in my kitchen clutching my morning cup of hot, black, heaven, I just sorta got stuck.  😮  Get your mind outta the gutter.  I’m talking about coffee, jeez…  I fooled around aimlessly on my iPad for a bit, cooked an egg white omelet to take to work, and decided my stove top, counter top and inside of the microwave could use a wipe down…  Not that my morning was a complete waste, but I avoided what I knew I should be doing.  The gym.  The concept of me not going to the gym is crazy.  I kept telling myself… get it together and at least go for a run.  Nope.  Didn’t happen.  My kitchen is clean though.  The only reasoning I can come up with is I’m getting bored, but I don’t want to let myself accept that!  😮  Today is day 36 of my 100 day transformation challenge.  Just over 1/3 of the way through, so I can’t let myself get bored already!  Sigh…  Now, since I didn’t suck it up and hit the gym before work, I’ll have to REALLY suck it up and go after my 10 hour shift.  And I’m short-staffed.  haha!  I guess that will be my chance for a little personal victory…  my chance to push past all the crap in my head that gets in the way…


Since moving closer to work, I’ve added 2-3 extra hours to my day.  Hours that I’m still trying to figure out what to do with!  When I was commuting to and from work every day, in the car was where I did all my thinking and day dreaming.  Now, I’m learning to find other ways to sort through the my thoughts.  It’s messy :p  My second home is the gym.  It’s the place where I do the most of my thinking and the treadmill seems to be my favourite place to deal with any emotional garbage.  Lifting heavy sh-tuff helps with anger or frustration.  :p  Both of those are usually with myself though…yo-berries

Speaking of online wanderings… I’m completely hooked on Pinterest

I have found sooo many awesome new Paleo recipes to try 🙂  I haven’t posted a whole lot of food pics lately cause I’ve found I’m not all that creative right now!  I cook what I like, and generally it seems to be the same stuff over and over…  Amazing how it’s really not as much fun cooking for one!  Found this little treat the other day and all you need is some fresh berries and greek yogurt.  Dip the berries in the yogurt, drop on a parchment lined cookie sheet, and into the freezer.  Simple, and tasty! 

I do have a little list of fun things I want to try though, so stay tuned for more pics and reviews coming soon… 😉


Thank you Paleo for giving me the determination to weather the storm!  More than four months into my Paleo lifestyle journey, I’m faced with a challenge that is a hard one to take.  First, I’ll throw a little disclaimer in here: my head is all over the place, so please excuse the parts of this rant that may not make any sense.  I’m pretty sure almost every female on the planet at some point in their life has turned to food for comfort.  I shouldn’t generalize like this, but come on… it’s true.  In the past, when life would throw me on an emotional rollercoaster, I’d often turn to chocolate, candy, or whatever to numb the pain.  A few weeks ago, we learned that my dad has lymphoma.  It was like getting punched in the face and kicked while you’re down.  While the news itself was hard to take, the hardest part for me was bearing witness to my dad having to break it to my little sisters.  Seeing my littlest sister cry broke my heart.  Anyways, I haven’t done much in the way of posts lately… now you know why.  I walked around completely numb for the first 2 weeks.  Still in shock.  Still don’t believe it’s the truth.  HOWEVER, there is a positive part of my story today… my dedication to my health through nutrition has kept me from falling back into old habits.  I have NOT turned to food for comfort.  If anything, exercise is my release.  Getting all sweated up is often the time where my head is the clearest.  Ange and I have gotten back into the routine of running in the morning, and the companionship has been wonderful.  🙂  I’m usually the type of person who is more than happy to hit the gym alone to kick my own a** without needing someone to talk to, but right now, it’s been therapeutic…

Bear with me for the moment.  I will be off the wall and crazy again soon I hope.

Warrior within

I had a rough weekend last week, hence I haven’t done much in the way of writing for a bit.  Some “news” came down the line that made me realize just how fragile life can be.  Feels like I’ve been walking around in a daze for a bit, so forgive me for the lack of fun in my posts.  Life really is too short… 

Warrior Dash was yesterday!  🙂  It was awesome!  

Warrior Dash 2012

Compared to the Spartan Race I did a month ago, this one was a bit shorter in length and had less of the obstacle portion, but the hill running was pretty intense.  It was held at a ski hill and I have to say, I gained much more of an appreciation for the term “black diamond run” while battling to run both up and down it.  :-S  There was still a whole lot of mudding, I once again landed on my BUTT, AND there was a grown-up slip and slide down one of the hills!  Wicked :p  While Ange and I recently started throwing a morning run into the mix to prepare for the Warrior insanity, it didn’t really prepare us to run up ski hills…  Still completed the course in a good time with huge muddy smiles on our faces.  Definitely an experience we will repeat and one I would recommend to anyone looking for a fun way to test their athletic ability.   If you’re into the whole Crossfit thing, this kinda challenge is absolutely tailor-made.

Side note – one part of yesterday I’m not eager to repeat…  rushing to run my butt off (yes, the same butt I landed on in the first mud pit) at ball hockey last night was a bit over the top.  Wonder if that has something to do with the fact that I’m absolutely starving today… 

small request

To all my friends and family, a small request which would mean the world…

I don’t expect you to understand me.  I don’t expect you to understand why I am the way I am, as much of the time I myself do not.  When I say I’m tired, or can’t come party ’til late at night, I need you to be understanding.  I will never expect you to understand, as to understand is to live it, and I would never wish that upon anyone.  This being said, I do ask that you please be understanding. 

I promise to always try to be understanding of you.

Thank you, Kate.

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