one day it'll all make sense.

Archive for February, 2013

Far from home…

Well… Sitting in the airport waiting to board the plane… Today begins the journey of vacationing with my mom for the first time. Its also the first time vacationing since beginning my paleo life. A whole week away… From life, from stress, from work… But also from my kitchen and the gym!!! Wish me luck!

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one life, LIVE it.

myreality

Sorry I suck right now.  So busy!  Working lots, working out LOTS, cooking some, and getting ready to head to sun and sand next week.  Poor me, ya I know! :p  Next week I’m really going to suck 😉

Just a note…  So, I often throw the “Multiple Sclerosis” tag on my posts, but never talk about it.  The whole thought process there is: I write about LIFE and how I choose to live mine.  I have MS, but I still do my best to live the life I want to live.  Being diagnosed with anything WILL change a person’s life, but it’s up to the individual which path they choose to take.  The whole experience certainly opened my eyes to the importance of appreciating the people and things I do have and can do. 

Three times a week, this is my reality…  Also probably the reason I have very little patience for people who cry about how rough their life is and carry on the sob story looking for sympathy.  In my mind, it always could be worse.  Life really is too short to sweat the trivial things…

wed. rant

Need to rant for a second. Why do some guys insist on wearing short shorts to the gym?  Really?  No one wants to see that.  Another question that often crosses my mind… when working with a trainer, why does it seem many people can’t be bothered to put any effort into their workout?  I saw a lady yesterday just carelessly swinging the weights around, clearly more interested in a good chat rather than a good workout.  I can think of cheaper ways to find someone to talk to… hmm.. whatever I guess.

On a more positive not – 215lb hack squats Monday 😀 Boo-ya!!  The best part was when the next guy (yes, guy) got onto the machine after me.  The astonished look on his face felt awesome.  Climbing the stairs at work the next day didn’t feel quite as awesome… but it’s a pleasure-pain that reminds me just how hard I worked… 🙂  Hockey night tonight, so should have a good chance to run the stiffness out.  Especially since we are playing a bit of a ball hockey GOD.  :s  eek.

And cause it’s really all just food and fitness for me right now… here’s a quick bit of Paleo deliciousness… Herb Spinach Chicken Burgers.  Wow tasty!

Herb Spinach Chicken Burger

Herb Spinach Chicken Burger

lost, but finding

“Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.”  Alysha Speer

Today I got “lost”.  I don’t even know how to rationalize with myself how or why it happened :p  My alarm went off at 6:00 (yes, I actually sleep until my alarm now!  odd in itself…) I got up, went through my usual morning routine, then standing in my kitchen clutching my morning cup of hot, black, heaven, I just sorta got stuck.  😮  Get your mind outta the gutter.  I’m talking about coffee, jeez…  I fooled around aimlessly on my iPad for a bit, cooked an egg white omelet to take to work, and decided my stove top, counter top and inside of the microwave could use a wipe down…  Not that my morning was a complete waste, but I avoided what I knew I should be doing.  The gym.  The concept of me not going to the gym is crazy.  I kept telling myself… get it together and at least go for a run.  Nope.  Didn’t happen.  My kitchen is clean though.  The only reasoning I can come up with is I’m getting bored, but I don’t want to let myself accept that!  😮  Today is day 36 of my 100 day transformation challenge.  Just over 1/3 of the way through, so I can’t let myself get bored already!  Sigh…  Now, since I didn’t suck it up and hit the gym before work, I’ll have to REALLY suck it up and go after my 10 hour shift.  And I’m short-staffed.  haha!  I guess that will be my chance for a little personal victory…  my chance to push past all the crap in my head that gets in the way…

release

Since moving closer to work, I’ve added 2-3 extra hours to my day.  Hours that I’m still trying to figure out what to do with!  When I was commuting to and from work every day, in the car was where I did all my thinking and day dreaming.  Now, I’m learning to find other ways to sort through the my thoughts.  It’s messy :p  My second home is the gym.  It’s the place where I do the most of my thinking and the treadmill seems to be my favourite place to deal with any emotional garbage.  Lifting heavy sh-tuff helps with anger or frustration.  :p  Both of those are usually with myself though…yo-berries

Speaking of online wanderings… I’m completely hooked on Pinterest

I have found sooo many awesome new Paleo recipes to try 🙂  I haven’t posted a whole lot of food pics lately cause I’ve found I’m not all that creative right now!  I cook what I like, and generally it seems to be the same stuff over and over…  Amazing how it’s really not as much fun cooking for one!  Found this little treat the other day and all you need is some fresh berries and greek yogurt.  Dip the berries in the yogurt, drop on a parchment lined cookie sheet, and into the freezer.  Simple, and tasty! 

I do have a little list of fun things I want to try though, so stay tuned for more pics and reviews coming soon… 😉

uphill battle

Remember my 13 days of kicking the cranberries and walnuts?  Well… today is day 3 and I’m getting better at it.  Day 1, I did really well all day at work… then got home and jumped off the wagon… head first.  Day 2 was better.  I subbed in avocado pudding when I was jones’n really bad.  Day two was an emotional nightmare.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big time holiday lover.  Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving… I get all festive and sh-tuff.  VALENTINE’S DAY SUCKS.  Especially when it’s the first one after a heart shattering break up.  I dealt with it as I usually do… I went to the gym.  Not only did I CRUSH my shoulders & traps routine, I had some “run therapy” on the treadmill including 10 minutes of wonderfully hard speed intervals.  It was awful, and I LOVED it.  🙂  Felt a lot better after too.

Anyways, today is day 3.  So far, so good.  I’ve learned that working a closing shift at my store suits me MUCH better than opening.  I’m a morning person for sure and at night I’m a big baby when I get tired. :p  Today I’m working the closing shift, which let me get in a kick-ass workout this morning before heading into work in a great frame of mind 🙂  I even relaxed for a few moments with a cup of coffee before hustling out the door.  Then whipped up the “lazy Paleo” breakfast of scrambled egg whites (made in the microwave) and, of course, bacon.  mmm…  I love to cook, but some days…  ya.

the lazy Paleo

the lazy Paleo

Do I complain a lot?  Cause I have a little rant to spill here… I don’t like “arms” day.  Thankfully I was able to get to it in the morning, cause if I had been stuck hitting the gym after work I would have made excuses not to do it and probably gone to yoga or something instead.  Not that there is anything wrong with yoga…  In a perfect world, I’d be able to work legs and shoulders every day and get ripped and toned all over…

self detox

Today is day 33 of the 100 day transformation challenge.  benchdipI’m not sure my opinion on the progress thus far though…  Not that the goals I set are not being met I guess, I wanted to build muscle and gain strength.  The only downfall has been getting “thicker” in the process and not being able to run as much as I like to.  Thicker, like through the waist, hips and thighs.  “Suck it up princess”  I know…  BUT I’ll be in a bikini in less than 2 weeks…  Whatever.  Sunday and Monday I had workouts with “personal best” exercises which felt great.  Sunday was chest and triceps and I pushed the dumbbell chest press to 30lb dumbbells 🙂  Also teamed up with a buddy from work, which meant bench press was possible without having to rely on the Smith machine as my spotter.  I really have no problems with working out alone, but it’s amazing how a little friendly competition can help to push beyond limitations…  Monday was quads, hams and calves.  I sucked it UP through this workout too and upped the weight on “v-squats” and “leg curl”.  Rarr!

nemesis

While today is day 33 in my first challenge, today is day 1 in another mission I have set for myself.  This challenge involves cutting back on my nemesis, pictured left.  Dried cranberries and walnuts are the vice I’m ridiculously addicted too.  I wake UP thinking about them…  mmm…  but I hope that getting back to my Paleo path of no grains, no legumes AND NO SUGAR 😮  might help me feel great about slipping into a bikini…  Crazy addiction is expensive too, so a little more money in my pocket might be nice as well 😀  Heavy lifting requires the calories and fat to build muscle, so I will try adding more avocado to my diet to make up for the nuts.  Will also transition from my strictly “egg whites” regime to incorporate a few yokes into the mix… 

It’s only 13 days…  THIRTEEN days…  sigh…  I can do it!  (I hope!)  Definitely also hoping the time will come where I don’t think about those damn things constantly.  It’s ridiculous.

Zonked!

Woke up early today to hit the gym with a buddy before jumping into my crazy day off list of sh*t to do.
Banana pancakes

Why is it days off are crazier than work days? exhausted by the end… thankfully tomorrow is back to work!  haha!  Before heading to the gym, i mashed out a set of banana pancakes.  Perfect pre-workout fuel.  🙂 Mashed banana, egg whites and a little cinnamon and presto!  mmmmm…. Today was chest and triceps.  It rocked having a spotter, cause my chest press with the bar, and latter with dumbbells was a personal best.  🙂

Also went shopping for some apartment stuff with my mom.  I actually got to break up my computer table and coffee table matching rubbermade bins.  There would have been a new tv stand too, had it fit in my car!  Nest time… 😉

snow day = gym day

gymrat

Ridiculous heavy snowfall in Southern Ontario yesterday.  To the point I closed my store at 5:00pm, instead of the 9:00 I was scheduled until.  🙂  YEAH!!  Pretty sure that was the first official “snow day” of my adult life!!  Suddenly I had the whole evening to myself, and ya know what that means…  GYM TIME!!  oh yeah 🙂  My life is such a whirlwind of activity on a general basis that I usually have a scheduled time slot in which to get in my workout.  Yesterday, other than working til close, I had no plans for the evening.  Soooo… I walked into the gym, pretty much by myself cause of the weather, hugely pumped up to crush my workout.  Finished my regular routine and added a bunch of other sets as well, just because… After and hour and a half +, I headed home completely exhausted and totally satisfied.  Pure bliss.  🙂  **Probably not supposed to take pictures in the gym, but there was no one else around, so whatever 😉  And as always, I seem to be pretty skilled at getting pics of myself with no head.  Hard to believe I used to be a photographer for a living?  Or is it just a preference of mine to not have my funny face in pictures?  lol

Ok… 2 words: BANANA PANCAKES.  I’ve heard lots of people say how good they are, so yesterday I decided to give them a shot.  Mashed up half a banana and whisked it with some egg whites and a dash of cinnamon.  Then poured into a hot pan with a little coconut oil and discovered heaven.  Simple as that, but incredibly delish!  These things were so awesome I couldn’t even find the patience to take a pic before eating them.  All of them.  Sorry.  😦  I did take a pic to the other tasty creation I threw together a few days ago though.  It started as the base of an omelet.  Egg whites in my skillet.  Then I decided to just cook the egg as a sort of pizza crust and topped it with a bunch of stuff once it was cooked.  Pretty tasty, and again very easy! 😉

eggwhitepizza

it DOES mean squat!

Quads, glutes & hammys today 🙂  oh yeah :p  It was a colder walk to the bus this morning, which of course I missed the 7:23am one by a hair and hoofed it a few stops further to keep warm while waiting for the next.  Good job!  But nothing could ruin my morning knowing I was headed to SQUAT, lunge, step-up and dead lift until my legs feel like overdone spaghetti.

A little follow-up from a previous post… I confessed my sins to my trainer.  Figured it was better to be honest about falling off track in terms of the 100 day challenge.  Especially after I hopped back on the treadmill again last Friday.  :-S

hotmess

New apartment, new kitchen, need to get back in mycomfort zone and back to creating Paleo masterpieces.  Last night I got home from work, and was totally uninspired for something to cook!  😮  Me?!?!  Odd.  So I made this hot mess —>

Doesn’t look like much, but it tasted pretty good :p  A little spaghetti squash, some spinach (which I could have taken the time to saute a little, but didn’t), some leftover chicken, mushrooms and a little tomato sauce.  HOT MESS.  Cut me some slack… I was all out of sorts.  I’m not used to walking into my apartment at 5:35pm after leaving the store at 5:10 AND stopping to get groceries!  Before this past weekend, leaving the store at 5 meant I was LUCKY to get home by 6:30…  Weird.

One of the biggest elements of surviving this whole Paleo diet/lifestyle is being prepared…  For right now, I’m NOT.  Yet.  ha-ha.  Didn’t even bring a lunch today…  eek :p  Not something I’d recommend…  I may starve.

I love you, I love you not…

First, I’m going to ramble some happy stuff.  The gym is my happy place…  oh, and the kitchen :p

This topic is the premise of the subject of this post!  Let’s be serious, working out is wicked-awesome and hugely addictive.  BUT… it’s completely normal to have favourite and least favourite exercises.  As a whole, legs is hands-down my favourite muscle group to work.  Squats, lunges, dead lifts, all awesome.  🙂  My current favourite exercise I think would be hack squats :p  delicious…  Least favourite strangely enough ties into my 2nd favourite workout, shoulders.  Not sure if I actually enjoy working shoulders, or if it’s just that I love the look of toned delts…  Back to the “I love you not” topic.  The Arnold Press is my nemesis.  My workout routines consist of 4 sets of each exercise.  When I jump into the Arnold Press, I psych myself up with a bad-ass, tough-guy attitude.  I bust through the first two sets like a champ, then the shit starts to hit the fan.  By the third set I’m beginning to hate the damn things, and by the end of the fourth set my shoulders are basically giving me a big “EFF… YOU!!!”.   I do love the challenge of discovering new exercises that are crazy hard, but show potential for accomplishment though.  My latest conquest is chest dips…  evil… but I won’t let them stop me 😉  Today was my chest and triceps routine.  All the workouts I’ve been given as a part of my 100 day transformation challenge are 4 sets, with 90 second rest between each. 

– Chest press (smith machine)                25lb/side + bar           8 reps

– Incline dumbbell press                        25lb/side                 8 reps

– Dumbbell chest fly                          15lb/side                 10 reps

– Chest dip                                    4 sets, 1st set-4 reps, last 3 sets-4 reps of negatives

– Dumbbell chest press                      25lb/side 1st set-4 reps*, 20lb/side remaining 3 sets-8 reps

– Skull crushers                                     10lb/side               10reps

– Bench dips                                          12reps w/5 pulses at end of each set.

*Dumbbell chest press with 25lb weights was crazy hard today!  :p  WTF??  haha…  I got to the four reps somehow, then got completely stuck and couldn’t lift the weights at all.  I must have looked like a newbie, but pffft… I don’t really care. 

Yesterday was the ripping off of the proverbial band-aid.  I moved to Waterloo.  Not only was I leaving the apartment I had lived in for five years, the place where I lived with the girl of my dreams, I was doing it all solo.  Scary, sad, lonely… but a fresh start.  I’ve been working through the process of finding myself again since mid December, but now I’ll be doing it all by myself.  I am strong.  One hell of a buck, but I will get back on the horse.  And I promise I will keep the “crying” about it to a minimum… I have cried enough already 😉  The move went well, even though no person in their right mind would ever choose to relocate themself in February.  The only problem that still remains is my lack of internet.  Sucks LARGE.  I thought I was all smart, and booked the tech to come out and set me up for cable and internet access yesterday evening.  Thought it was the perfect plan!  My mom and I would be around unpacking and stuff…  We waited.  And waited…  No tech.  I called and lost it on the poor guy who answered the phone.  It didn’t get me anywhere though… I still have to wait until I can find another day when I have 5 hours free to hang out in my apartment and wait for someone to show up.  ARG!  I fully appreciate and complement good customer service, but I have NO patience for the bad stuff!  Anyways,  I will be intermittent for the time being, but once I’m all connected again, it’s game on!  🙂

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